By The Rules
by TrespassMyAss
Summary: Sauli's a high school senior with one huge pain in his ass: Chemistry. He's hopeless. Simple. His relief comes when he gets a new teacher, but it's short-lived as Sauli realizes that Mr. Tall-Young-And-Handsome, friendly and charming, proves to be the biggest distraction of his life. Much to his misery, Sauli crushes hard, but this teacher is hellbent on following school rules...
1. New Distraction

~~~AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Well, here's something a lot less dark than my usual stuff. I've always wanted to do a story like this and now I finally have the chance. I hope you guys enjoy it. Lemme know what you think, it means a lot.~~~

Sauli:

I hated chemistry with a passion.

I despised my useless teacher, Ms. Terry.

Muttering aimlessly to myself, I trudged my way to second block chemistry. No matter how hard I tried, this crap just made zero sense to me. I was eighteen and a senior in high school, yet I still felt like a third-grader in that class. Eventually, I'd given up on trying. I was good at everything else except this bullshit course that I needed.

I groaned quietly when I walked into class and noticed that all of the good seats in the back were taken. I had no choice but to sit front row and center with all the eager kids. Fan-fucking-tastic. Up close and personal with Ms. Douchebag. I plopped down the nearest seat, more than ready to jump right back up and sprint out of here.

The bell rang, irritating my ears. Just the thought of being here again turned my mood sour. I wasn't normally so pissed off. It was just a side effect of Chemistry. I sighed and drummed my fingers against the wooden desktop, waiting for this sorry excuse of a teacher to show up. The class chatted away, rambling on about their relationship problems and projects they hadn't yet started that were due after lunch.

Almost half the class later, Ms. Asshole finally walked in, looking huge with her fetus-occupied womb. The class didn't even stutter in the buzz of conversation. I braced myself and covered my ears just as she smacked a meter stick against the whiteboard. Everyone jumped and immediately shut up.

"Class," Ms. Bitch squawked in her annoying voice. You know how when you hate someone, _everything _they do becomes intolerable? Yep, I was experiencing that. "I have some bad news. This is my last day here."

I sat upright with a spark of interest in what she was saying for once.

She continued, rubbing her belly, "My husband and I are transferring to a new district so our baby can grow up in a less crappy neighborhood, no offense."

Offense taken. I was raised here.

I briefly wondered who the hell would fuck her. That was just fucking nasty. Was her husband bribed or something? I also felt bad for the fetus. One of the first faces it was going to have to look at was hers. It wasn't like Ms. Terry was horribly _ugly, _but I just hated everything about her. I blamed her for my terrible understanding.

"As you all know, we are being visited by student teachers who are here to stay in classes and observe how us professionals teach," I rolled my eyes at _professionals,_ "and to try their hand in this art of education." Oh god, someone was going to learn how to teach from this idiot? Poor fucker. "My student teacher is actually going to take over this class until the school can find someone more permanent to replace me. It's good practice for him. We've made certain that he's more than capable of controlling. I'm sure he'll be almost as good as I was." I twitched at her absurd statement and resisted the urge to attack.

Great, now I really wasn't going to learn shit if some newbie loser was going to try to control this chaos of a class.

Ms. Dipshit checked her watch and scowled. "Although, he's running late and I really need to leave now for a scan. Behave! He should be here soon. Goodbye… _you little assholes_." That last part was mumbled so lowly that I was sure I was the only one who heard it. Sitting in front had its perks.

Good riddance, you son of a bitch.

There was nothing but complete silence as Ms. Fucker left the room. Everyone just listened quietly. Then, as her footsteps disappeared around the hall, the class erupted. I ducked as papers and various other items were chucked back and forth across the length of the room, followed by triumphant shouts.

I just stayed put in my seat, staring fixedly at the board ahead of me. Why were they celebrating? This was only going to get worse. Ms. Terry had years of experience to back her up and she still sucked. And now, we were going to get some inexperienced nerd out of university to school us? Not happening. I for one was actually worried about what this would do to my grades.

Something in my peripheral caught my attention, and my head automatically turned to inspect. In walked a tall, lean man, carrying a stack of boxes. I raised my eyebrows. He was entirely focused on not dropping the weight in his hands as he made his way over to the teacher's desk. He abruptly dropped the boxes onto wooden surface, causing a jolting bang. Everyone froze and turned to the front to see where the commotion came from.

The man brushed his hands together and let out an exhausted breath. He turned to face the class and immediately beamed at us. I heard someone gasp in the back. I could see why. He definitely didn't look like Ms. Nasty, all crusty and bent. Nope, this guy was standing straight in what was a very intimidating stance, clothed in what was a mix of formal and casual apparel hugging his lean body: Dark jeans, sneakers, followed by a black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a gold tie. It was a perfect blend of both worlds. But it wasn't his acceptable choice of clothing that caused the little cloud of interest in the class. I mean, it was part of it, but my main reason for forgetting to blink for a minute was his face.

Never in a million years would I have expected this. The guy looked like he belonged here, like a fucking student. He was so young. Bright, curious, pale blue eyes flickered over the rows of desks in shocking contrast to his jet-black hair that splayed around his face. And to top it all off, a smile so dazzling appeared that it could blind you from miles away. His wandering gaze met mine briefly and I prayed that no one heard the little squeak that escaped my throat.

Without even doing anything but arriving, everyone's attention was on this strange, unfamiliar, and gorgeous man. It would normally take Ms. Shit over ten minutes to get anyone to give her some form of concentration.

_This _was our new teacher? Holy shit.

Everyone stopped drooling when his musical voice broke the silence.

"Hey, guys!" the man said. _Hey, guys? _Was he for real? You would say something like that to your friends on the football team or something. That was totally not a proper teacher greeting. He really was inexperienced. He'd soon learn that he probably needed to toughen up if he wanted people to take him seriously, but hey, that was just my first impression. "I guess introductions are due, hey? Okay, I'm Adam Lambert and I'm your former student-teacher and now your new temporary teacher. Any questions?"

Some asshole called out, "Um, is this a joke?" Mr. Lambert gave him a curious glance. "Dude, how old are you? You can't seriously be a teacher."

Mr. Lambert grinned and I could've sworn I felt the asshole faint mentally.

"Well, _dude, _it's Mr. Lambert to you, and no, this is very serious," Mr. Lambert said with amusement in his voice. "And I'm twenty-two, not like that matters." He leaned against the teacher's desk, crossing his arms. I spotted freckles.

"Wait, so you're actually going to be our teacher?!" A pretty girl next to me asked out loud. "You're practically a baby!"

Mr. Lambert smirked and gave her a nod. He said, "Honey, if I'm a baby, then you're all still sperm cells." A few people chuckled. "Anyway, I'm here for a least for a little while. I was supposed to take over the class with your teacher monitoring, but she's gone, so… I'll be here until they can find someone else." The girl turned to her friend and squealed a little.

Mr. Lambert waited a few more seconds before clapping his hands together once. "Well, if that's it, I would love to get to know your names and one thing about you."

Oh crap. No… I hated this get-to-know-each-other bullshit at the start of every year, and now again in the middle? Fuck. I had nothing interesting to say.

Mr. Lambert went up and down the aisles, standing over people's desks as they excitedly grabbed his attention one by one and started spewing nonsense about themselves. He commented every now and then, sometimes laughing. I didn't listen to a single word; I was too busy sweating and trying to come up with something to say. But, time was up before I knew it. I looked up to see a looming figure standing over me with a kind smile.

"And you?" Mr. Lambert said, gesturing for me to continue when I just gawked at him.

"S-Sauli," I stuttered nervously and quietly, unable to really look at him.

"Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

I mentally groaned. "Sauli," I enunciated.

Mr. Lambert smiled brightly and I nearly toppled out of my seat. "Ooh, _Sauli._ Are you European?" The way my name rolled off his tongue. So hot.

"Finnish," I muttered.

He nodded knowingly. "Last name?"

"Koskinen," I mumbled, feeling my face heat up. I could only glance up at him every once in a while. I couldn't hold his intense eye-contact. This was so embarrassing. I could feel everyone else staring daggers into the back of my head.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Koskinen," Mr. Lambert chimed. "And what's one thing I should know about you?"

Without even pausing to think about it for a split-second, I stupidly blurted out, "I hate chemistry. Don't get it, never will."

I regretted the words as soon as they left my lips.

The slight disappointment on my new teacher's face was like a hard slap to mine.

He recovered within the blink of an eye and said dryly, "That's really too bad considering what this course is."

He then continued down the rows without another word to me. I sank lower into my desk, wanting to disappear. My heart was pounding from embarrassment. This guy had such an overwhelming presence.

I blanked out for the rest of the class until Mr. Lambert said, "Tomorrow, we will begin actually learning some stuff. I have so many things planned for this class. Who here is as passionate about chemistry as I am?"

One person put her hand up. And I knew she didn't actually know anything. She just wanted his undivided attention.

Mr. Lambert popped his lips after scanning over the class with pleading eyes. "That's just sad. We're gonna fix this and get some enthusiasm in here before I leave. Got it?" he said excitedly.

A few people mumbled out some half-hearted agreements.

The bell rang and Mr. Lambert bid us goodbye as he walked over to the board. I paused before I headed out the door, curious to see what he was writing. I nearly threw up when I saw the chemical equations, and he was smiling to himself as he did so.

Oh god, it was like he was doing that for fun.

Mr. Lambert's head turned to me slightly as he continued writing, giving me a parting smile and a wink.

A wink.

If any other teacher did that, it'd be creepy as fuck. My legs turned to jelly for a moment, and I swooped out of the class before I could make more of a fool out of myself.

After second period was the dreaded lunch time. I headed over to the cafeteria with my bagged ham sandwich and juice box. I scanned the tables and sighed, settling for an empty table in the back corner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't have _any _friends whatsoever. This was my first, only, and last year at this school, and I never bothered really talking to people. I guess for that, they all ended up hating me or something, assuming that I thought I was better than them somehow? I didn't really know what the reason was. I didn't think I was a bad person or anything like that. No one liked to be seen with me. I couldn't blame them really. I didn't want to be seen with me either.

I took a huge bite out of my sandwich and looked up to see Mr. Lambert across the cafeteria talking to a couple female teachers and laughing like they'd known each other forever. Oh fuck him, even he already made friends. Fuck this. I ate the rest of my lunch while scowling at my paper bag.

When lunch was finally over, I merrily headed to Drama class, the second last block of the day out of four. It was senior year, so there wasn't really much to worry about since we all had most of our credits completed.

I walked into the Drama room only to find Mr. Lambert surrounded by a fan club of girls. Oh, you had to be kidding me. He was taking over this class too? Seriously? Like I wasn't mortified enough by him?

I sighed again and sat down in the corner of the floor after the bell rang. Mr. Lambert politely dismissed the girls with hearts in their eyes and went through some version of his introduction again after they sat down. This time, he mentioned a theater background and all of his years of experience with acting and such.

And once again, Mr. Lambert went through a name game, but when he landed on me, he said with another smile, "Mr. Koskinen, chemistry hater, nice to see you here as well."

He remembered my last name. I fought the urge to fan myself. I ignored the chemistry remark. Well, sort of. I ended up glaring at him a little, for which he reacted with a chuckle and moved on. I hid myself into the shadows. Could I please leave?

The entire time Mr. Lambert was talking, I could hear obnoxious whispers buzzing around my head via the girls about "how hot he looks", "how he is in bed", and the occasional "I'd tap that". I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help stare up at him and let those same thoughts creep into my head. An image flashed into my mind of Mr. Lambert naked, sweaty and aroused, and I quickly shook it out of my head. What the fuck, Sauli?

We spent the class playing tableau games, which Mr. Lambert explained as basically freezing into a random scene with people and everyone else trying to guess what we were doing in our frozen states. I had to admit, it was quite fun.

But the biggest moment came when Mr. Lambert came by and fixed my "pain" tableau, telling me I wasn't quite believable yet, and that the gestures I was making looked more like archery practice.

His soft hands reached me, wrapped around my biceps and moved me into the correct position.

I was freaking out internally at the touch, and it could have been just me, but I thought his hands lingered too long on me, and he was a bit closer than strictly necessary. I didn't mind. My heart was thrashing afterward.

Sauli, get it together. You're pathetic.

~~~AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Comment/Kudos?~~~


	2. Bitch, I Got This

Adam:

I thought I did rather well for my first day of teaching. My university program required me to student-teach twice. I'd already finished my first time after twelve weeks of observing a classroom environment and getting some experience, so that really was helping with this time around when I somehow ended up taking over a couple courses.

I was going to be given control of the classes anyway for a few weeks, yet have a supervising teacher monitor me, but the principal was sure I could handle it on my own for just a little while as they scrambled to find a permanent, full-degree teacher to take over again. They promised me I would have the stress of a full-time teacher for only a few days maximum.

I wasn't sure this was strictly allowed since I hadn't gotten my full degree yet, but oh well, I knew what I was doing and this was great practice, so I went for it. I did end up talking with Ms. Terry and my head supervisor to make sure this was alright if only temporary.

Only a few days, I could manage that. Then, I could relax a little and step down again into student-teaching for a few weeks while the actual teacher took over the hard parts. After this last experience, I would head back to university and finish up my teaching degree. I could do this. A few high school kids… how hard could that be?

For someone who was pretty much only good at chemistry and theater, this teaching career seemed like the right way to go. I would never get anywhere with theater anyway. I had to think realistically. Plus, I loved people and educating them. Although teaching wasn't the career with the best salary, it would make me much more money than anything in theater world. Money was important to me. My living conditions needed it badly. I had to be able to stand up on my own two feet. I lived in this run-down apartment and I used to have a part-time job folding jeans. This was way better. I could probably move out of that place in a matter of a year.

But now, it was only day two…

I stood by the chemistry classroom door, watching the clock. I could hear students clamoring around outside. When the bell finally rang, I took a deep breath and didn't need to put any effort into the big grin that spread across my face as the kids started shuffling in. I greeted every single person warmly.

I was quite aware that within any given moment, they could all stop taking me seriously because I was only four years their senior. I had to stay on top of that. I wasn't going to be some boring fuck that everyone hated, but I also wasn't going to take it easy on them.

It was a balancing act between being a cool, relatable teacher, and a boss that actually got shit done properly.

It was only second period, and I could see that everyone was still tired as they shuffled in lethargically. A few eyes lit up when they locked with mine, so that made me happy, knowing I could make a difference just with a smile. When I was in high school, I hated all the shit teachers with monotone voices. I swore on my life that I wouldn't become the very thing that made me want to murder people.

I tried to place names to faces as the girls and boys greeted me. I only managed a few, including the blond kid named Sauli who "hated chemistry". That really stuck with me. How could you hate chemistry? What kind of crap teacher did they have that did this to them?

I beamed at the chemistry hater with a greeting nod and when his gaze met mine, his eyes widened. He then stared at me as he walked, until he tripped over a desk and nearly fell flat on his face. He caught himself on the edge and his face reddened. I stifled a laugh. That was adorable. I knew he was fine, but it was a "teacher's duty" to ask if the kids weren't dying whenever the smallest thing happened.

"Are you okay?" I asked, bemused and trying to hide it.

Sauli just looked embarrassed and he nodded quickly, not saying a word. He escaped me and made his way fast to a desk in the front. I shook my head, still trying not to laugh in his face, and took my place in the front-center of the class, watching as everyone settled into their seats. Of course, they all thought arriving to class meant that they could start chattering away to everyone near them and across the room, except for that red-faced blond boy. He was staring hard at his desk. I sighed, knowing I had a lot of work to do with these kids. I waited a few minutes but no one showed any sign of shutting up.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, catching their attention. I lowered my voice when I wasn't staring at the back of everyone's heads anymore. "Settle down. We need to get down to work today."

I heard someone in the back loudly mutter, "Oh, man! Fucking bullshit."

I whipped toward the sound of the voice. "Hey, no! No swearing. Come on, man, use a real vocabulary. The dictionary is your friend…" I said slowly as I grabbed one off of my desk. "So start getting to know each other!"

I chucked the book across the room. It flew over the students' surprised heads and landed perfectly on his desk with a loud _smack_, sliding to his chest. The kid's mouth dropped open slightly and he peered up at me in shock. I winked at him. He was of course wearing clothes that were too many sizes too big for him, and his hat was on backwards.

"And no hats in school," I muttered. He groaned and obeyed me, taking off his stupid-looking hat.

Confused, everyone started muttering to each other in response to my actions.

"Well, what did you guys expect? I bet it was something like, oh look, it's some guy who doesn't know anything. He can't control us, he's not our real teacher, this means we don't have to do work, blah, blah, blah. Well, _too bad. _You're forgetting the advantage of being only four years older… I know all your tactics and attitudes. I had the same ones."

Some people chuckled, knowing exactly what I was referring to. So they did have those expectations of me. Not surprised.

I clasped my hands together. "Okay, I need to figure out where you guys are with this stuff, because obviously, if some of you hate it…" I sent a playful glare at the Finnish kid who just shrunk down into his desk when he noticed. Oh, it was really fun embarrassing him. "…then Ms. Terry has been teaching you guys wrong."

"She hasn't taught us at all!" a girl whom I recognized as Jen called out. A few people mumbled in agreement with her.

"Oh come on, I know you're exaggerating," I replied, waving my hand dismissively. "We'll start off easy. Can anyone tell me what you get when calcium hydroxide reacts with hydrochloric acid in water?"

I swear I could hear crickets chirping.

No one said anything apart from a few mumbles.

I glanced around the room, waiting for some sort of understanding on anyone's face. Instead, all I got were some horrified stares, and some kids avoiding all eye-contact with me, hoping I wouldn't pick on them.

"You're kidding me…" I said, eyes widening. "Okay, what kind of reaction would burning naphthalene give you?"

That was worse than the first one. Everyone just looked at me like I'd suddenly switched to some foreign language. I heard a couple kids mumble under their breath, "_What the fuck?"_

"It's combustion! Come on! I practically gave you the answer!" I exclaimed, surprised. "You guys seriously don't know anything? This is almost tenth grade stuff. You're in senior year!"

Mr. Stupid-Hat in the back blurted, "Dude, Ms. Terry completely sucked balls, man. She spent most of her time filing her toenails at her desk or some shit like that."

I didn't believe it until _everyone _buzzed in agreement.

I grimaced. Gross, what the fuck?

"Okay, then we'll start from the very basics and go from there," I concluded, head spinning at the thought of how much shit I would have to try to cover in such limited class times. "I don't know how much simpler it could be than this but… what's the atomic number of oxygen?" I cringed and braced myself for no one to know the answer to this baby stuff. "Mr. Davey?" I called.

The kid I picked on looked up at me and tentatively squeaked, "Eight?"

I sighed in relief. "Yes, thank you!" I really did have to tone everything down to the basics with these guys. At least now I sort of knew where to start. I could go home and create lesson plans based off everything I found out today.

"Okay, Mr. Koskinen, following Mr. Davey's example, can you give me the atomic mass of Magnesium?"

Sauli looked up at me in fright, face paling, saying nothing. I waited for a moment. "You can check your periodic table if you like," I encouraged.

He did what I said, but still ended up with a blank face and mind. Oh god, he didn't know. He actually didn't know. He didn't even know where to look. He probably didn't even know what he didn't know. He was going to have less than a zero percent chance in this class if he didn't know _that._

I moved on, a bit appalled, sparing him. "Jen?" I asked.

"Twenty-four point something?" she said immediately, straightening up in her seat.

"Sure," I muttered. My eyes flickered over to Sauli who just looked embarrassed again. He bit his lip and glared at his desk.

I spent the rest of the class quickly but efficiently going through a few basics, going over equations and definitions. By the last few minutes of class, I was able to ask a simple balancing equation and I nearly jumped in the air when people put up their hands to willingly and confidently answer. I was getting off to a good start. It seemed like all the guys needed was a little refreshing from previous years.

But then I noticed the Finnish kid's frown like he wasn't getting any of this. I didn't understand it. I knew he wasn't some douche who just didn't give half a shit. His eyes looked alert, intelligent, like he was really attempting absorb this, but getting nowhere. At least, that's what I assumed.

After lunch, I had drama, which was a relief since everyone knew what they were doing in this class. But, I still wasn't ready with a plan of action for how to use these talents and come up with assignments, so we spent the entire class playing theater games that I used to enjoy. It was a much more relaxed atmosphere. Even the Finnish kid was a lot more at ease.

The next day in chemistry, I was ready.

"Alright, now this isn't a test or really for marks," I confirmed as I went up and down the aisles, handing out sheets to the class. "Just complete this to the best of your abilities. It shouldn't take you that long. I just need to have a better understanding of where everyone is."

There were mutters of disappointment and annoyance as people got a glimpse of the questions. I rolled my eyes and continued.

I reached the desk in the front corner where the blond kid was sitting. I handed out a sheet to him, frowning when I caught a bit of worry in his eyes as he took it from me. I gave him an uplifting smile and he immediately looked away, staring hard at the paper on his desk.

I sighed and made my way over to my desk, sinking down into my seat. I watched faces twitch in confusion and frustration as people struggled their way through the sheet. To my relief, some people actually flew through it, flipping over to the backside within minutes. Maybe there was hope for some of these kids after all.

It was supposed to be a half-hour worksheet, but it ended up taking the entire eighty minutes of class for some, and when the bell rang, the remaining kids finally and reluctantly handed in their sheets as they filed out. Sauli was especially eager to _leave._ He was gone seconds after the bell rang. Everyone else followed suit. I could feel their energies just sink from the misery of really seeing how much they didn't know. I thanked everyone quietly and bid them goodbye.

I sat in my desk after everyone was gone and quickly flipped through the sheets. Some were completed well. Some weren't completed, but almost there. And some were, putting it as nicely as I could, kind of bad. I noticed that when I got to the Finn kid's, he got the two questions he actually filled out _wrong_ with answers that didn't even relate_,_ and then the rest of the sheet was just doodled on with the most random drawings. Confused by this behavior, I flipped to the backside of the sheet only to find a giant sad face drawn on it. Now that was alarming, figuring out exactly what level of chemistry he was on. God, he was behind everyone else. I was getting worried. Was he mentally held back? Were the rest of his grades like this? I decided to investigate.

Before heading off to lunch, I decided to quickly pay the office a visit. I found the file cabinets with the students' permanent records in them. Yeah, yeah, this wasn't exactly great of me to do, but whatever. I fingered the labels, muttering out the names quickly to myself as I reached the K section.

Kaiser

Kinser

Koehler

_Koskinen_

Got it!

I grinned and pulled out the file. I braced myself for what I was going to be faced with inside. I was worried about a record of bad behavior and disturbing grades. I opened up the file and flipped through the sheets until I found… nothing of the sort.

He had no permanent record of inappropriate behavior. It was completely clean.

More shocking were his grades, and no, not because of how terrible they were, surprisingly enough, but because of how much… better his were than mine when I was in high school…

Everything was in the ninety percent range. From English to Mathematics, this kid was excellent in every subject. My eyebrows rose as I skimmed over the marks and notes by teachers, completely impressed. It was a relief to see this and I felt a little bit _proud _of him. I was almost giddy with glee from learning this… which was really weird.

The only non-shocker and disappointment was Chemistry. This was the only thing he was almost bombing. His averages ranged from near failure to within sixty-five percent. What was with this one class that was bringing down his total average? I frowned, upset that this was interfering with such a beautiful-looking file. I made a mental note to myself. I wasn't going to let this kid fail the course. I would bring him up. It was the perfect test for me and it would help him out. If I could raise this kid's marks, it would be a win-win for everyone. How hard could it be? He just needed a push in the right direction.

After that little promise to myself, I closed the file, only to pause just as I was about to put it back. I bit my lip and thought for a second, suddenly becoming very intrigued with his personal information. No, Adam, that's invading his privacy. You don't need to know everything about him. That's strange and wrong.

But I couldn't help it.

I was so interested with him. He was fascinating and confusing me.

I looked around, making sure no one was watching, before flipping the file open again and devouring his personal information. I ended up learning a lot about his background. I didn't know why, but it was cool to learn these facts. Normally, a birthdate and place wouldn't make anyone go "ooh!" but here I was, soaking up this shit like a sponge.

Was this even legal?

Fuck that, I was his teacher, concerned with my student's marks and needing to find the best course of action to improve his academic performance.

Yep, that was a totally reasonable excuse.

~~~AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Comment? And if you haven't already done so, follow me on Twitter TrespassMyAss for updating info :)~~~


	3. Pathetic

Sauli:

I was pathetic… completely and hopelessly pathetic.

Not only was I pathetic for knowing shit nothing about chemistry, but also because of Mr. Lambert.

I couldn't focus at all. I was so distracted by him. I was still drooling over him after a few days of him teaching here. He was a fucking amazing teacher and I'd really underestimated him, but still, I just wasn't getting it. All of the other kids were picking up what he was teaching and really starting to get in line with all this chemistry stuff. They were getting more and more involved and passionate. Me? I never even put up my hand.

But, that didn't stop Mr. Lambert from picking on me anyway… like right now. Crap.

"Mr. Koskinen?" Mr. Lambert repeated, snapping me out of my haze.

I blinked and looked around, noticing that everyone was staring at me. Shit.

"Um… What was the question?" I asked tentatively.

Mr. Lambert gave me an accusing look. "I just asked if you were paying attention, but don't worry… You pretty much just answered it."

The class snickered and I sank down into my seat, cheeks flaming. Fuck my life. Did he have to embarrass me like that?

I spent the rest of the class too mortified to move my eyes any place other than the board. I kept myself fixated on the writings and attempted to focus, but it wasn't working. Mr. Lambert would explain some concept on the board, ask questions, people would burst in their seats from wanting to answer, and he'd actually have so many to choose from. Me? I was too busy staring at the way his lips moved more so than what was actually coming out of his mouth. I wanted to know what his lips would look like with something going _into _his mouth. Ridiculous…

Out of paranoia, I quickly glanced around the room to make sure no one was somehow able to read my ludicrous mind. That would be a disaster. My mind was the only place I could have these thoughts and not be given a glare or sneer. Though right now, I was the one shaking my head at the visions flashing across my mind. If anyone else had access to my mind, I'd probably wind up arrested.

"Okay, are we good with double replacement reactions?" Mr. Lambert asked with confidence, hope lacing his tone.

Everyone nodded and answered him positively. Mr. Lambert scanned the class with a successful grin on his face until his gaze landed on my completely lost one. Fuck, had I zoned out _again?_ I watched his face fall as he sighed, giving me a worried look. He turned back to the class with a slight shake of his head.

"I think… I'm going to go over this one more time… Some people just aren't getting it." The disappointment in his voice burned low in my gut.

Obviously, he was talking about me. I felt my eyes sting a little. Goddammit, what was wrong with me? Was I actually an idiot? Did I have some sort of disorder? No… that couldn't be it. I was exceptional in every other class and had little trouble with them. I needed to pass this goddamn course and so far, I just wasn't doing that. I couldn't even ask questions because I didn't even know what the fuck I didn't know.

When the nightmare class ended and the bell rang, I nearly leapt out of my seat, fast-walking to the exit. I kept my head down until I was almost out the door, hurrying to high-tail it out of there before I was stopped. Of course, I wasn't successful.

"Mr. Koskinen," I heard an authoritative voice call behind me. I froze with one foot out the door. "Can you stay? We need to discuss something."

Fuck.

I turned around to find Mr. Lambert sitting at his desk, rummaging around in the drawers. I was in between the class, which was my miserable jail cell, and the hallway, otherwise known as freedom. My eyes flickered over both options, debating whether or not I should just make a run for it. I sighed, deciding against it. It was better to just see what he wanted, though I thought I probably knew what was coming and I was dreading it.

"Sure…" I said, barely audible.

I reluctantly and slowly made my way to his desk, trying to stall without it being noticeable, and sat across from him, staring down into my lap.

"Mr. Koskinen…" His voice was gentle. I hated the formality though. "Can you please explain these?"

I looked up in time to see him holding out my past couple of worksheets and tests that he'd given out that I'd just scribbled and doodled on. I stared at them with hatred and then up at Mr. Lambert who had a disappointed and concerned expression plastered onto his face. His eyes were sad as he searched my stinging ones, waiting for an answer that I just didn't have. I felt so ashamed. God, since this guy has been here, my non-existent self-worth plummeted into the negatives.

"I'm… I just… I don't know," I said, defeated. My voice was quiet. "This stuff is ridiculous to me. My brain won't wrap around it."

"Why didn't you talk to me instead of deliberately failing these?" Mr. Lambert asked, black fringes of hair falling forward into his eyes as he tilted his head down toward the embarrassment known as my work.

Because you intimidate the shit out of me and just sitting here is making me want to vomit from nerves?

"I don't know…" I mumbled, keeping the previous thought to myself.

Mr. Lambert sighed, putting down the papers and folding his hands on his desk, obviously disheartened at my crappy responses.

"Will you allow me to get you a tutor?" he asked pleadingly. "I'm not letting you fail this course."

Oh god, no. I was socially awkward as fuck. Plus, most people never talked to me unless they were making fun of me. I didn't want to say yes to this and end up with a tutor who probably already hated me and purposely tried to get me to fail. They would laugh at how easily I'd believe them, and tell the whole school. If word spread that I was this much of an idiot…

"Can_ you_ do it?" I blurted, looking up at Mr. Lambert with anxious eyes. "Tutor me, I mean?"

Mr. Lambert looked a little surprised by my request. My eyes dropped, random outburst of confidence dying. I stared nervously at his metallic blue tie and white shirt instead. I waited for what seemed like an endless moment.

"Sure," I heard him say after a minute. I looked up to see Mr. Lambert smiling happily at me. "I mean, I think I can do that for you. Who better to teach you than your teacher?" He threw me a delighted wink and I struggled to keep in a girlish scream. "What time would work best for you? I can do lunch and possibly after school."

"I think lunch times would be best," I said a little too quickly, heart pounding faster at the realization that I'd have to be alone with this guy every day.

"Really?" Mr. Lambert asked with a higher voice. "Don't you want to be with your friends?"

I shrugged, muttering without a thought, "Don't really have any."

I didn't miss the flash of pity and concern on his face.

"Oh…" he mumbled, sounding unconfident and vulnerable for the first time. "Okay then… We'll start in a couple of days. I've gotta get some stuff ready."

The next day at lunch, I sat down at another completely deserted table, not even fazed by it. The loneliness was comfortable most of the time now. I was getting pretty used to it all. I chewed my food slowly as I tuned out from the loud noises around the expansive room and stared at the sandwich in my hands.

Suddenly, I jumped and nearly threw my sandwich when I heard tray slap down onto the tabletop. I ended up choking on my mouthful.

"Oh geez, sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay?"

I finished hacking up the piece of bread in my throat and wildly looked up in time to see Mr. Lambert sitting down across from me. What the fuck?

He settled in comfortably, setting his own lunch on the table and smiling at me.

I scanned the lunch room. Yep, people's eyes were wandering over in confusion and a little anger… mostly from the female population. I was intimidated by the death glares sent my way and shrunk down a little.

"I'm fine," I croaked, contradicting myself, "really."

Mr. Lambert eyed me, clearly not convinced.

"Why are you here?" I asked, sounding terrible.

"Oh, sorry. Do you want me to go…?" Mr. Lambert started to get up.

"No, no, no," I quickly said, gesturing frantically with my hand for him to sit, and he plopped down again. "I was just wondering. You're usually with a couple other teachers."

"Oh, so you've been watching me?" Mr. Lambert teased, winking.

My face paled. "N-no!" I said quickly. "I just noticed."

Mr. Lambert laughed. "It's okay, relax. I was only kidding."

I forced a laugh, resisting the urge to glare. How hilarious… not.

"So," he said, jetting off, "I think you can catch up with the sheets I developed for us to work on together when I start tutoring you." Oh, so that's the only reason why he came over here. Why had I been stupidly expecting more? I nodded along, worried already. He took a bite of his apple before continuing and I just stared at his cute chewing like a hungry puppy. "I know you're a bright kid. You _can _do this. You might be able to pull off an eighty before the end of the year if we work hard."

I pretty much tuned out in anger after _kid. _Kid. He called me a kid. Like being four years older made him so much more of an adult? I felt my blood boil a little. I was getting a little too annoyed by that statement than I should.

"Mr. Lambert!"

We both looked up and saw a bunch of girls running over to the table, sitting down obnoxiously around us, and attempting to make conversation with him. Mr. Lambert smiled and welcomed them while I just sat there pissed off.

"You look dazzling today, Mr. Lambert," a girl said.

"I'm learning so much because of you. You're the best teacher ever!" another giggled.

"Oh hi… you," one dismissed me, sounding way too nice and sugary. The idiot didn't even know my name, yet she tried to sound like we were friends. Too bad I'd never met her before this.

My hands curled into fists. Obviously, these bitches were only here for Adam and mildly including me to get to him. Fuck this shit. Mr. Lambert laughed along with them and chatted enthusiastically while I sat there for another minute, fuming. Way to just ignore me. Ugh.

"Excuse me," I said in a hard voice, getting up and slightly shoving a girl with my shoulder as I left the cafeteria.

I did end up glancing back and I saw Mr. Lambert staring after me with a frown as the girls kept pestering him and not even acknowledging that I had left.

I was in a shit mood during drama. That whole lunch thing left me frazzled and snappy. Mr. Lambert was, of course, also the drama teacher for now. Today, we were acting out impromptu scenes. I was partnered up with some mousy girl named Kathy and I tried my best to be nice, knowing she hadn't done anything wrong. There was no point in taking out my anger on her.

Everyone found a space in the large room to practice before we presented to the class. Mr. Lambert went around and monitored each group for a few minutes. Kathy and I were assigned some romance scene where I had to yell at the girl, which was pretty damn easy in my current state, and then walk away, vowing to never see her again, but only being stopped when she grabbed me from behind, crying into my back.

We got to the back part when Mr. Lambert suddenly interrupted.

"Okay, stop," he said, coming up to us. We stayed in pose. "Mr. Koskinen, you're doing a great job, but Miss. Stevenson, you're not holding him properly. Your back is to the audience and you're just not putting in the emotion. I know I can be honest with you. It's like watching paint dry with the amount of pain you're putting in. Make it believable. Go again." He sat down in a chair, crossing his legs, and then gestured for us to restart.

Kathy and I shared a mutual frown of confusion before shrugging and taking our starting positions again. We ran through the scene once more as Mr. Lambert watched intently, only to be stopped yet again when he still wasn't pleased with what we were doing.

"Here, let me show you," Mr. Lambert sighed.

He got up from his chair and advanced on us.

Kathy let go of me just as Mr. Lambert motioned her to. I stayed in my pose, feeling my heart start to skip. He wasn't seriously going to demonstrate, right?

"Like this," he insisted.

Mr. Lambert suddenly had his big arms wrapped around my torso from behind, pulling me to him hard. My back smacked into his chest. I squeaked a little and felt the air rush out of my lungs. I felt tiny as he pressed himself against me completely from behind. I struggled to breathe evenly. Okay, relax, Sauli, _relax. _He's just doing his job.

"Show him that you really want him to stay with you," Mr. Lambert said casually while I was freaking out silently in his arms.

How could he not feel my heart rate shooting up? As much as I hated to say it, he was so _warm_ and cozy. I fought to keep my pose and not melt into the fake embrace. He didn't seem to think anything of it at all, completely professional.

Then, I nearly shoved him off from shock. My throat felt dry as Mr. Lambert shifted slightly and pulled me little closer to him to prove his point to Kathy and I felt something… _hard _pressing into the side of my ass.

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.

Mr. Lambert had an erection and it was rubbing up against my ass.

I felt sick and dizzy, but not in a disgusted way. I couldn't explain it, but being pressed up against him suddenly wasn't such a bad thing. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just push him off. Did he not even realize…? Maybe he hadn't noticed yet? Or maybe he hadn't thought anything of it since it was probably one of those random ones that every guy got, right? Or maybe he knew, but was too professional to break out of a pose early.

While I scrambled my mind, trying to find a suitable excuse and explanation for what the hell was going on, Mr. Lambert was still talking to Kathy and holding me to him like nothing was wrong or awkward, and I didn't pick up a word of what he said.

I looked around the room, relieved that no one had noticed; they were all too busy perfecting their scenes. Mr. Lambert would be in serious trouble if anyone knew.

I wanted to kind of gently tell him about his problem in a way that wouldn't freak him out, but would at least make him notice both it and the fact that I was aware of it as well and he'd let me go.

I subtly jutted out my ass further against his—ahem—_hard-on, _crushing it a little as he explained things to a much focused Kathy. I felt strange little jolts when I pushed against the length. He cut off in the middle of his sentence when I did so. I felt his arms constrict around me for a second. Oh, he knew, alright. My breathing was still shallow. I couldn't believe this. I kind of wanted him to just stay like this, but I was also getting slightly uncomfortable. I didn't really know what I wanted.

But, that answer came when I found myself disappointed when, too soon, Mr. Lambert let go of me and Kathy took her place again. It felt odd having slender arms replace the large, muscular ones. And, Kathy wasn't hard against my ass... thank goodness.

I watched as Mr. Lambert retreated to his desk where no one could see his problem. I shamelessly wondered what it would be like to blow him from under a desk. Maybe I could get an A in chemistry from that, ha… Shut up, Sauli… What the actual fuck?

The bell finally rang, and as I was leaving, Mr. Lambert just smiled at me normally from his desk, like the whole thing had never even happened. Had it? Or had I been imagining things?

The entire rest of the day, I was hard. I couldn't stop thinking about Mr. Lambert just fucking rubbing against my ass. I had a lousy and impossible crush and I couldn't help it. When I finally got home, I bolted to my room and barely made it to the bed. I unzipped my pants and reached in, pulling out my very own problem. I was leaking and stiff as a board. I moaned when I stroked it just a little. Crude thoughts of Mr. Lambert popped into my head, with him being all pressed up against me again, but naked and moaning sweet nothings into my ear as he fucked me slowly. Goddammit, I couldn't take it. It only took a few strokes for me to completely lose it. I came hard all over my hand and my sheets. I was left a collapsed, horny mess, and all because of this one teacher… Pathetic.


	4. Douches, Dicks, and Drunks

Adam:

I fucked up. I really did. Getting an erection during class yesterday was something that was bound to happen eventually, and I knew that, but why did the universe curse it upon me right when I'd been demonstrating something very simple during class? To make matters worse, it just _had _to pop up against a student's ass. God, Sauli had probably noticed too. Poor kid, I knew he must've been freaked out, if not, disgusted. He'd looked pasty for the rest of class, and had been completely silent, despite my efforts to keep the atmosphere in the room as friendly and normal as possible. Maybe I was overreacting and he'd been fine with it, realizing that it was a guy thing and that spontaneous boners were inevitable. I was sure it was a random occurrence… sort of. I was sticking to that story whether I believed it or not.

A girl suddenly ran by me in the hall with tears in her eyes, pulling me out of my thoughts. Before I could stop her, another voice stopped me.

"Motherfucking faggot, you'll pay for that!"

I frowned, overhearing that statement from the next hall on my way to chemistry. Curious and a little irritated by the derogatory term, I turned the corner only to find Sauli corralled against a locker by a group of four guys much bigger than he was. I paused for a moment, recognizing almost all of them. I stepped back behind the wall before I could be seen, and watched from a distance.

"You think you can just come here with your gay-ass walk and scare off _my _girlfriend?" a boy I knew as Dawson from first block science spat, crowding up into Sauli's space.

My eyes narrowed, but I wasn't sure what I should do. I didn't know if these guys were all just joking around like how boys usually were or what. I didn't want to be the annoying teacher that bitched at people just because they were jokingly using language I didn't like. I mean, they were boys; they were going to say whatever they wanted regardless of who scolded them.

Sauli just cringed back into the locker, squeaking, "She didn't want you doing that."

The whole lot of them started laughing before another kid I recognized from the same class, I thought his name was Jason, showed up by Sauli's side and growled, "What he does is not your business, you queer." He suddenly shoved Sauli hard enough that Sauli slammed into the ground, catching himself on his hands before his head hit the floor. He immediately tried to scramble up again only to be stomped in the side by the Jason's foot, forcing him back to the floor. My hand twitched. "Learn your fucking place, and maybe suck a cock like all you're good for."

What was with all the gay slurs? My heart stung, remembering a similar high school experience to this. I realized that this was a serious situation and not just some horsing around. I needed to step in unlike how _no one_ did for me. It was disgusting to me how right now, even as this was going on and a few students were passing by, no one even threw them a second glance. Saying that this was unacceptable was an understatement. Bullying was the one thing that hit a deep nerve inside of me.

"You've been seriously getting on my nerves," Dawson hissed. "I think it's time we taught you a lesson. Talk to my girlfriend again and I'll cut you to pieces, you worthless homo freak."

They all chimed in and snickered in agreement and towered over Sauli whose eyes just flickered frantically between them, as if looking for some way to escape.

My eyes widened and then narrowed to slits as Dawson reached down and fisted Sauli's collar in his hand. He raised his other fist to throw a punch and Sauli cringed back, waiting for the impact to his face.

Not on my watch.

Within the next second, I was looming behind the jock, restraining his raised fist with one hand in a death grip.

"What seems to be the problem here?" I asked casually, tightening my grip on the asshole's knuckles.

Everyone looked up at me in surprise, and for some, fear, but only because they got caught.

"Nothing," another loser I didn't recognize replied stupidly as the rest of them stepped away from a very shocked-looking Sauli.

"Really?" I growled, glaring into the loser's eyes. "Sure didn't seem like nothing. Explain _this._" My nails dug into the fist in my hand to prove my point. I shoved Dawson's fist into the locker over Sauli, slamming his knuckles against the metal and held him there from behind.

"Ow, man, let go!" Dawson pleaded, trying to jerk his hand out of my clutches.

"Then get lost," I hissed into his ear from behind, venom lacing my voice, all sense of teacher gone. "Don't you ever come near him again or I swear…"

I let go of his fist roughly and Dawson immediately stumbled back a few feet with a wild and confused look in his eyes, the rest of them scurried a few feet away as well, following the leader. Dawson hissed and rubbed his sore hand. Jason took one look at it and his jaw dropped slightly.

"What the fuck, man?" Jason nearly yelled, appalled. "You're fucking crazy!"

"All that for some gay bitch?" Dawson snapped. My eyes narrowed and my hands curled into tight fists at my sides as I hovered in front of Sauli protectively, blocking their view of him on the ground. I could feel Sauli's eyes burning into my back. Dawson craned his neck to glare at Sauli, vowing, "I'm gonna fucking kill you when your fairy godmother isn't here to protect you."

"I said, _get lost!" _I growled fiercely, sick of his bullshit, blocking his view again.

Jason scoffed and rolled his eyes, placing his hand on Dawson's chest. "Let's go, man, we'll deal with this later."

The entire group gave us dirty glares and obscene gestures before they trudged away, muttering more pointless crap, and finally disappeared around the hall.

Once they were gone, I sighed deeply and let my muscles relax again, forcing my rage to calm down. I peered over my shoulder at Sauli, who was still lying on the ground, holding himself up on his forearms, shocked stiff. He stared up at me with uncertainty and a bit of something else I couldn't name. I sighed again and turned around completely to face him. I gave him a kind smile and held out my hand toward him. His eyes flickered back and forth between my hand and my face suspiciously for a moment before hesitantly grabbing my hand. My smile grew warmer as I enclosed his hand in mine and pulled him up to his feet. Reluctantly, I let go of his hand as soon as he was up.

Sauli brushed himself off and kept eyeing me.

"Are you okay?" I asked sincerely, using it as an excuse to let my eyes roam over his body.

"Uh, yeah," Sauli mumbled, suddenly shy again. "Um… thank you…?"

"It's no problem." I shrugged, patting his back with a grin. "But, if they ever come near you again, you come straight to me and tell me, okay? I won't let them get away with crap like that."

Sauli nodded. "Okay…"

I checked my watch and winced a little. "Come," I insisted, "we're late for chemistry." I nodded my head toward the end of the hall, smirking as I started to walk away. I could feel him just standing there and watching me walk away. After a few feet alone, I heard fast footsteps catching up to me.

Sauli groaned as he reached me. "You know, I'd rather be beaten up, to be honest."

I laughed once, glancing at him in my peripheral. "Come on, chemistry isn't that bad. Am I that horrible of a teacher?"

Sauli shook his head frantically. "No!" he assured me. "It's not you. You're… amazing." I smiled and felt my heart flutter. "It's just me. I just struggle with it... a lot."

"Well, our tutoring starts today, so at least we can bring you back up to speed."

"I hope so…" Sauli muttered.

We turned another corner, passing by a bunch of late students. I sternly told all of them to get to class. I didn't miss the small glares they threw Sauli as they noticed him walking next to me. Why were all these kids so horrible to him? Sauli didn't miss it either. He frowned at the ground.

"Anyway, why were those guys bullying you?" I asked, curious.

Sauli rolled his eyes. "Because Dawson's a dick," he spat. "…Sorry," he mumbled when he noticed how my eyebrows shot up at how forward he was with the insult.

I chuckled. "No, it's fine," I insisted. "I was just a bit surprised. And honestly, I agree with you." I smirked again at him.

Sauli's eyes widened slightly before he recovered himself. "Um, well, he was being a total dick to his girlfriend and grabbing her and telling her these… awful things. She kept telling him to stop and let go, but he and his friends just laughed, and I couldn't just stand by and watch that. So of course, being an idiot, I interfered and shoved him back, telling his girlfriend to get out of there. At least she listened. That's when you showed up."

I noted the girl who'd ran past me in the hall. Ah.

"You're not an idiot. It's… fantastic that you stood up to them," I said in awe, "but… you couldn't have used your words?" I laughed, shaking my head.

Sauli scoffed, "It wouldn't have mattered, and hey, it's not like you used _your _words and you're supposed to be the responsible teacher."

"I suppose so…" I mused. "That _was _pretty terrible of me. I know guys, and they think too highly of themselves to be stopped by anything other than a physical interference. I'd be in serious trouble if they told, but if I did get yelled at for what I did, I think it would still be worth it." I shrugged. "And, judging by their cockiness and pride, I don't think they want anyone to know that a teacher showed them up, so it's all good."

"They're cowards, really," Sauli sighed and nodded, agreeing. "All they have is slurs and brawn to back them up."

That reminded me. "Oh yeah, what was with all those terms anyway?"

Sauli looked away and kept his eyes on the lockers off to the side, clearly uncomfortable now, before quietly muttering, "I don't know… They're just jerks."

I eyed him from my peripheral, not really believing him based on the way he reacted.

We arrived to chemistry and I gave Sauli one more encouraging smile before he set off for his seat. I frowned, watching him and how some students rolled their eyes as they noticed him. Seriously, what was with everyone? Did Sauli do something or did they all just hate him for no reason? He seemed plenty nice and thoughtful to me.

I went through the entire confrontation earlier in my head again, hoping that what the idiots had said to him would give me some kind of clue. All I could remember were the gay slurs, but that seemed to be enough to recall since Sauli had seemed particularly offended, rather than just shrugging them off like other guys and laughing about it.

"Oh…" I mumbled to myself as it dawned on me. Was Sauli gay?

During our first lunchtime tutoring session in the classroom, I couldn't stop sneaking peaks at Sauli's confused face. I saw him in a newer, more curious light now that the idea of him being gay had entered my head.

I kept watching him, looking for some sort of hint or anything that would tell me he really was gay, but I couldn't pick up anything from him. He was unreadable, and I was usually quick to guess. It was horrible of me for even trying so hard, but I couldn't help it, and I didn't know why that even mattered to me. My job was to teach the students the curriculum, regardless of their gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

Yet, every time I thoroughly explained a concept to him and then assigned a question for him to try out, I used his distracted moment to stare at him instead of his work and mistakes. There was just something suddenly fascinating about the way the muscles in his face moved with every slight change of expression as he read over the questions over and over. Even when he was frustrated, he was so… pretty. Fuck.

I forced my eyes to look back down at his work and almost sighed at yet another issue he was having.

"No," I mumbled, noticing Sauli couldn't solve a certain stoichiometry problem. "You want to convert grams into moles first. You won't get the right answer unless you make sure to do that little step right in the beginning. Here, let me show you."

I held out my palm so Sauli could pass me the pencil. As he handed it to me, his fingers unknowingly brushed against my skin, causing me to suck in a sharp, quiet breath. Gulping hard, I squeezed my eyes shut for a just a moment to collect myself.

Relax, Lambert!

Why was I getting so nervous, so fast? My skin had already broken out in a sweat, and was the room getting smaller or…?

I managed to look completely normal on the outside as I wrote out the calculation on a sheet of paper and explained it to him. All the while, as I was freaking out internally, Sauli was just biting his lip, staring hard at the sheet, completely unaware of my dilemma and focusing on what I was saying as I mechanically did the problem with ease. I handed the pencil back to him afterward, hyperaware that I was purposely trying to touch his skin again.

This was so unprofessional of me. As the session went on, I kept finding every excuse to touch him in the most casual ways, and I didn't even know why the fuck I was. I just… needed to, out of curiosity or whatever. At one point, I even subconsciously reached out to run my hand through his hair, but froze right before I reached his head, realizing what I was about to do. Sauli gave me a confused look as he eyed my hand that was just hovering beside his head. Before it got too weird, I sighed and settled for gently patting his head instead in praise as a cover-up. Hey, it was less freaky than fucking stroking his hair or letting my hand stay frozen in the air awkwardly next to him.

"Good job," I mumbled pathetically, patting his hair, but then I actually looked down at what I was congratulating him for and noticed that he actually got the question wrong… again. Oh. Whoops. I awkwardly dropped my hand, cheeks blazing.

Sauli sighed sadly, glaring at his work. "I already know it's wrong. You don't have to pity me, you know. I'm not a little kid."

"No, that's not what was trying to do. I was…" I trailed off, having no appropriate way to finish that sentence and still be truthful. "You know what? We can come back to this. Let's just try something else."

I managed to regain focus after that, ignoring how hot and bothered I was getting just from the slightest of his movements. What the hell was wrong with me today? Although I was miraculously still able to teach, I kept tuning in and out of focus as Sauli tried rounds of problems. At one point, he had to repeat a question of his three times and snap his fingers in front of my face for me to come back down to reality.

And it just happened again.

I blinked several times as Sauli retrieved his hand after snapping his digits impatiently in front of my eyes again and focused on his concerned face.

"Mr. Lambert, are you sure you're okay?" Sauli asked, "You kind of look sick. You know, you really don't _have _to sit here and deal with my pathetic self."

I shook my head, insisting, "I'm fine, sorry… and quit saying that. I'm here because I want to be." I looked down at another problem he solved. It was actually right… sort of. "You only forgot to write down the unit. That's extremely important. Don't assume I'll just know what you're talking about. Fifty-three what? Pounds? Miles? Cows? I don't know. Make _sure _to always put the proper unit, in this case, grams."

Sauli nodded and scribbled down the units in every question that he missed with his somewhat messy, yet easily legible scrawl.

I took his momentary focus elsewhere to try and console myself. My hand quickly flew on top of my crotch just to check how bad it was. Shit, I was getting noticeably hard again. Furrowing his brow in concentration, Sauli stuck his moist tongue out the side of his lips. My cock twitched at that. I squeezed the aching bulge as a warning, silently begging it to calm the fuck down. This boy was not for me to get _aroused _over. Ridiculous.

My breathing was shallow, and I was seriously fidgeting and shifting uncomfortably by the time Sauli looked back up at me for approval. As soon as his eyes left the paper, my hand flew off my pants. I jerked my chair closer under the table as I leaned over to check his work, attempting to cover my lap and hide my huge problem.

My eyes actually widened in surprise. I was expecting to find another mistake as it was becoming a habit, but no, Sauli got the next three questions flawlessly correct. I pursed my bottom lip, satisfied with his answers. I glanced over at Sauli, who was staring anxiously at his hands on his thighs, waiting for me to point out another mistake to him.

"They're all right," I said quietly, smiling to myself.

Sauli's head snapped up to me, then to his worksheets, and then back to me with dinner plate eyes within a split second. I chuckled at his shock and beamed at him, proud that we'd actually made progress.

"You're kidding me, right?" Sauli asked frantically.

I shook my head and tried to keep from laughing at how happy he looked right then. "Nope," I replied with a pop of my lips.

"_YES!"_ he exclaimed just as the lunch-ending bell rang. Perfect timing. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. Phew! I guess I'm not _that _hopeless. Thank _fuck_—sorry." Sauli got up from his seat, gathered his worksheets, and then grinned down at me. "I'll see you next time." Another twitch jolted inside my wretched pants from seeing the joy on his face.

"You're welcome," I replied with a forced smile, shifting again in my seat. "See you next time."

It was only three questions, but it made him this hopeful, and that reminded me of why I'd wanted to teach in the first place.

Sauli unexpectedly gave me a high-five and thanked me one last time before practically prancing out the door. I stared after him in wonder, feeling my hand sting from the sudden, sharp contact, but, that wasn't the only tingling sensation that it caused. Ugh.

Fuck this. I had no time to jack off, and I certainly couldn't ditch class either. I had no choice but to go to Drama with this hard-on. I groaned and buried my face in my hands with my elbows perched on the table. I just wanted fucking beat my dick off for being so goddamn stupid.

Exhaling sharply, I stood up, scraping the chair against the floor and turned to gather my shit. I carried the binders in front of my crotch on the way to drama, avoiding all human contact as much as I could. As soon as I reached the Drama classroom, I retreated behind the mahogany office desk while the students started shuffling in.

Okay, I could do this. I just had to give instructions to continue what we'd started last class from the safety of this desk and then wait out the rest of the block, ignoring the problem until it went away.

That plan sounded perfect until I realized Sauli was a student in this class as well. My greeting smile for the students faded as he walked in, still looking excited about his tutoring session. I whimpered almost inaudibly and shifted again in my seat when he suddenly bent over to pick up a dropped pencil case for some girl. I tore my eyes away from his tight jean-clad ass, feeling like a pervert. Yeah, well I could rule out random as the excuse for this boner. Kill me now.

The bell rang and I wasted no time in saying, "Guys, listen up!" I waited until everyone stopped talking and gave their full attention to me. "Continue practicing your tableaus from last class, and really put in some effort this time because you never know when I'll assign a heavy project to go with this…" The hint was obvious in my voice.

I absolutely loved this class because everyone was so cooperative and attentive. The kids got right down to work, getting to their partners and discussing what exactly their tableau had been about. I watched inventively, noticing the major improvement among the groups. I was doing a great job at ignoring my problem and I'd nearly forgotten about it until my eyes scanned the groups and landed on Sauli. I wanted to punch the obnoxious twitch in my pants. Ugh.

Sauli's partner, Kathy, was still too uncomfortable with holding him. Her arms were stiff like branches around his waist. As a Drama teacher, I _had _to say something about this. In the back of my head, I wanted to practically strangle the girl for making me have to get up and show her again. They were too far away for me to call out instructions from the comfort and safety of my desk. My dick was ecstatic as I stood up, but I was dreading what I was about to do again. But hey, she was practically forcing me to do this, right? It was totally her fault.

"Sweetie," I said calmly as I approached them, catching their attention. Kathy broke away from Sauli and gave me a curious, questioning look. "Acting is not all about feeling, it's about _doing_. No one cares if you can cry on cue if there's nothing to go with it, especially in a tableau where you're not allowed to actually cry. You have to show the message of the pose in a different way." They both looked at each other like they had no clue what I was talking about. "Try focusing on, _what am I doing, and why am I doing it_? Okay? If the action is meaningful, then the emotion will be there. What I'm trying to say is… you're still not holding him right. It looks like you're uncomfortable with hugging him, not begging him to stay with you." Kathy nodded in understanding, looking slightly irritated. "Okay, try again," I encouraged, really not wanting to actually step in and have to demonstrate.

That entire time, I kept my eyes glued to Kathy's face, not Sauli's, hoping to the high heavens that neither of them had noticed my problem. At least my shirt was sort of long enough to cover it slightly, and the way I had my hands folded in front of it pretty much insured no one could notice.

Kathy got into position behind Sauli as he just stood normally, eyes wandering off into the distance, waiting for Kathy to get her role correct. She wrapped her arms around his waist again and then looked up at me hopefully.

"Like this?" she asked, nodding toward her arms.

"No," I said, and I heard Sauli sigh, probably annoyed that she still wasn't getting such a simple thing right. "Press yourself against him."

She hesitated, but did as I suggested and lined her front up with his back.

"Now?" she asked, getting impatient.

I shook my head. "Okay, now tighten your arms around him. They're just hovering, barely touching him." She shifted slightly, but otherwise made absolutely no difference. I sighed in resignation and waved my hand impatiently, gesturing her to move away. "Here, just let me show you."

Sauli's bored eyes suddenly widened and looked alive. His head snapped over to me, watching me a little fearfully as I took Kathy's position behind him. I hated that I had to do this again.

"Sorry, Mr. Koskinen, for having to use you," I muttered from behind him. "You don't mind, right?"

Sauli looked straight ahead of him as he barely managed to squeak out, "No, it's okay." It soon wouldn't be.

I tried to look professional as I wrapped my arms around his tiny body and pulled his back to me. The sweet smell of his shampoo hit my nose as his hair tickled my chin. I took a deep breath in, savoring the smell that was making me dizzy. I tightened my arms around him and I could feel him breathing faster. His body lined up completely against mine, toe to heel, chest to back, and everything in between, including my painful erection that only intensified when it contacted his ass. I winced, knowing that he could obviously feel it since it was practically poking rudely against him. I felt his torso suddenly expand in my arms as he sharply inhaled. He completely stiffened against my body. Fuck, he did notice. I pulled away only slightly, just so I wasn't prodding his ass that much. I didn't even want to imagine the look on Sauli's face that he was probably trying to cover up.

I turned my head to look at Kathy, who just watched me in irritation. At least she hadn't noticed the awkward, thick air that now engulfed the room.

"See?" I said through clenched teeth, still wanting to strangle her for making me do this. "This is how it's done. I look like I want him. Simple."

Kathy's expression contorted slightly into one of discomfort. Yeah… those probably weren't the best choice of words on my part.

"But, there's still a little bit of space between you," she said sharply, crossing her arms. "I thought you said to be completely against him."

Sauli's head shot toward her.

I fought the urge to glare at her. Was she trying to kill me?

"Yes, you're right," I muttered, wondering if I could fail her just for being a nuisance. "Sorry."

I pulled Sauli as close as possible, so there were no gaps between us whatsoever, which meant that my aching crotch was now happily snug and squished against Sauli's ass, and his head was tucked into my neck. Breathing suddenly became a much harder task and my face was heating up considerably. The instinctive urge to just start bucking and rubbing against him was driving me insane. I held still as best as I could, threatening myself that I would go home and cut my dick off if I dared to do anything even stupider.

"There," I said sternly. "This is close enough. You can take over now."

I heard Sauli sigh in something… probably relief. It was so obvious that he knew. It was practically screaming at me. Poor kid probably thought he'd get in trouble if he shoved me away right now. I was most likely going to get reported after this class and I couldn't even blame him. _Yeah, so um, my teacher got hard against my ass in Drama… twice. Is that normal? _Or, maybe he wouldn't say anything because he was scared and felt victimized. I felt horrible either way.

God, this was practically molestation, I swear.

Well, not really since he gave me permission, right?

What the fuck, Adam? He gave you permission to demonstrate a pose, not try to shove your dick up his ass.

"Yeah, um, Mr. Lambert?" Kathy complained. What the fuck did she want now? "I don't like this. Honestly, I'm not really comfortable doing this with _him. _Could I get a new partner? No offense, Sauli."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise and my arms unthinkingly tightened protectively around Sauli. I felt him slump slightly in my arms. I realized I was still holding him longer than what was necessary and immediately released, stepping a couple feet to the side. My entire body felt colder and heavier moving away from him.

Sauli turned and I tried scanning his face, but I wasn't able to get anything out of him since he immediately avoided eye contact with me and kept his head low. Her words obviously affected him, and I wouldn't doubt it; they'd practically offended me. My heart hurt for him. I was getting sick of how he was treated.

I turned back to Kathy, seriously annoyed with her. "Um, it's a little too late now to—"

"—It's fine," Sauli interrupted, sounding robotic as he stared at the ground, hiding his face. "She can join another group. I'll work alone... again." I stared at the top of his head in confusion. I couldn't see anything but his hair, but I could swear I saw something drip from his face to the ground. "Can I be please excused?" His voice cracked and my stomach sank. I was speechless for a second.

And, he was already walking toward the door before I could even answer.

I yawned loudly and picked up my steaming mug of coffee off my desk. Every Monday morning, I would arrive to school earlier than normal to plan out a few things for the week or catch up on marking. To my surprise, no one had confronted me for practically dry-humping my student last week. Guess he didn't tell for some reason. I took a sip of my coffee, trying to awaken my senses as I finished up some paperwork. The air was completely quiet and relaxing since there were no bumbling students around here at seven in the morning. I sighed, wanting desperately to go back to sleep. The silence was making me doze off regardless of the coffee.

I jumped in my seat and nearly threw my mug when I heard something crash against the doorway with a groan. I looked up in alarm, slamming my hand over my pounding heart, and saw Sauli stumbling into the room, catching himself on a wall before pushing off of it and tripping over nothing, hurling into nearby desks.

What the fuck?

"Mr. Koskinen?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level when in reality, I was lost and freaked out. "Why are you here so early?"

"Dude," Sauli slurred as he stumbled and leaned on the whiteboard, holding up a finger. His eyes weren't even focused on me. He licked his lips and pursed them as he continued with another wave of his finger, "Don't call me _Mr. Koskinen…_ that's my father. It's _Sauli_… Say it with me. _Sow-lee_… Or better yet, you can scratch that and just call me your little bitch."

My mouth popped open and my eyebrows shot up, shocked by his behavior. What the hell's gotten into him?

"Oh, and I couldn't sleep—" He was interrupted by an attack of hiccups. "…Was busy."

That's when it hit me.

I stood up abruptly and slowly made my way over to a disheveled Sauli with wide eyes and my palms out, careful to not make any sudden moves, like I was trying to show him that I wasn't a threat.

As I got closer, it became even more obvious. "Oh my god… you're _drunk…_You actually came to school drunk." I shook my head in disbelief, honestly scared for him. He was completely wasted.

Sauli gave me a lopsided grin and pushed off the whiteboard, but he couldn't find his balance. He swayed and toppled over. I closed the distance within a flash and snatched him by the waist just before he fell flat on his face. I grunted with effort, trying to keep him upright as he completely gave out on me, draping over my arms.

Oh god, I had a completely drunk student collapsed in my arms. I didn't know what to do. They didn't teach you how to deal with this shit!

I dragged a limp Sauli over to my desk and plopped him down onto my chair. I panted slightly from the effort of pulling his entire weight as I kneeled in front of him and held his wrists down on the armrests, looking up at his dizzy face with serious concern.

I bit my lip and held up two fingers when Sauli opened his eyes and… sort of looked at me, more past me than anything else. His eyes were bloodshot and out of focus, glancing everywhere in the room. I cringed at how much of a mess he looked before asking, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Four," Sauli replied surely and drunkenly without pausing to think or actually _look_ at my fingers.

"What the hell were you doing all night?!" I interrogated, practically yelling at him, desperate for anything that could help me.

Sauli's head lopped to the side. He just gazed down at me for a minute, eyes glazed over. "You're pretty…" he mumbled, ignoring my question. My stomach knotted at the slurred compliment. I couldn't be flattered by it at all. "So, so pretty you are…. I want to kiss you… pretty lips…"

"_No,"_ I said sternly when Sauli started leaning, or practically falling, down toward me. I pushed his face back with my palm only to have him try to make-out with it. I pulled my hand back quickly.

Sauli whimpered, annoyed by my rejection. He started falling forward again and I pushed him back up with my palm again, this time against his chest, and kept it there to keep him from collapsing over. Sauli closed his eyes and smiled lazily, trying to hug and snuggle the arm attached to the hand on his ribcage.

God, he was tempting, so fucking gorgeous and a total curse, but I wasn't going to take advantage of a student, _especially _a drunk student. That crossed so many lines.

"What am I supposed to do with you now?" I whined, getting seriously worried. I turned my head and glanced at the clock over the door reluctantly, fearing what I might see. And surely enough, time was running out and school would start in a little while.

I felt knuckles softly press into my cheek and start stroking it as I was distracted by the clock. I immediately pushed the hand away with my free one, quickly turning back only to hear Sauli complain, "I want you in me…"

My dick twitched, but my mind screamed at me about how wrong this whole scenario was.

"_Stop,_" I said sternly, not knowing how much more of this I could take. "Go_ home_." I realized something after I said that. I stared at Sauli in horror. "Wait, how the heck did you get here?"

"Drove," Sauli hiccupped.

I groaned in dismay. "You could've killed yourself!" I took my hand off of his chest and buried my face into both palms, pulling harshly at my skin. "Yeah, okay, there's no way in hell I'm letting you drive home," I mumbled angrily into my hands.

I peered up through my fingers just in time to see Sauli suddenly fall forward, and before I could react properly, he crushed me to the floor, lying limp on top of me. I huffed from the impact and my head slammed against the tiles. My internal alarm rang loudly, but my dick was ecstatic. Sauli's face was in my neck, breathing heavily and hotly. My blood ran cold in my veins and I shivered from the warm air tickling my skin. I could practically feel the blood rushing to my dick.

I wanted it. I wanted it badly, but I couldn't.

Sauli's tongue suddenly slipped out and lazily hit my neck. That crossed the line of everything I was able to handle without losing myself. I needed to seriously stop this. My mental sirens blared in emergency when Sauli's lips lightly touched my skin and I pushed him off before he could start sucking my neck, making him roll over next to me with a disappointed grunt. I sat up and panted, hand flying to the burning spot on my neck from where he'd licked it. I gazed down at Sauli in panic and saw how hard _he _was through his pants. My throat felt tight and dry from the need.

"I want you," Sauli whined, pushing off the floor and trying to scramble up onto me again.

This was so inappropriate. So, so wrong. I felt like an old, perverted freak. I knew that he would never do anything like this if he were sober. He was just so far gone right now that there was no reasoning with him. He was making this so difficult and awkward for me. I couldn't let him stay at school and sit in class like this. He'd probably be expelled if anyone saw and I just couldn't let him ruin his life because of this one bad mistake.

I grabbed Sauli's wrist before he threw himself at me again and stood up, pulling him along with me. Sauli stumbled and nearly collapsed again. I caught him around the chest with an eye-roll and dragged him over to a closet, hating the only and terrible idea in my head that was probably also illegal. I dug around in my pocket with my free hand, finding and pulling out a ring of keys. I struggled to unlock and open the closet door and finally did so as Sauli clung to me and started practically trying to climb me. I pushed him off a little too harshly. He stumbled and fell onto his ass in the dark broom closet with a huff of pain. I gave him one last, desperate look before immediately slamming the door shut and locking it.

God, what the fuck did I just do? My heart was pounding and I was a mess. If only coffee could wake me up like this. I frantically glanced at the clock and the closet door, eyes darting between them.

Okay, there was a student who was apparently really sexually attracted to me when he was drunk locked in my closet, and class was about to start before I could do anything else. Who else could say that? Just me. Just my luck.

Well, the sexual attraction part was something that was expected since they warned us of these things and mentioned that the most important thing was to ignore it and not act on it… even though Sauli was exactly my type and I wanted him badly. However, they did not say anything about what to do with the whole drunk and closet part of this. What the actual fuck was I supposed to do now?!

Okay, okay, calm down, Adam. Everything's fine… except if anyone found a wasted Sauli in your fucking _closet_, you'd be fired and he'd be expelled before either of you could even blink. Shit, shut the fuck up, brain! I was so not helping myself right now.

Okay, I would mark Sauli as present on the attendance instead of absent, just so that wouldn't cause any calls from parents, and keep him in the closet all day until he was able to think again. I prayed that he'd just pass out in there and not make any noise. I promised myself I would teach him everything he'd miss, and then we could all forget this morning ever happened. That was an acceptable and completely moral plan, right? Oh, who was I kidding? I was not going to survive this day.


	5. Hangover Blues

Sauli:

I was confused as to why my eyes felt crusty and difficult to peel open, and why my body felt sore everywhere when I stretched out with a huge yawn. I blinked my aching eyes multiple times and rubbed the sleep out of them before looking around the near-complete darkness, even more muddled. This wasn't my bedroom?

I propped myself up slightly onto my elbows on the freezing tiled floor to get a better look, groaning when my head inexplicably started spinning and felt way too heavy for my body. Why was I on a floor? Why was there a broom jabbing me in the side? And why in the fuck was my foot in a mop bucket?

I squinted my eyes into slits, struggling to adjust to the dim light as I sat up completely, and feeling like I was rammed in the gut by a truck just from being vertical. I forced myself to recognize my surroundings even with the almost non-existent visibility. There were shelves of random jars and other questionable items all around me, and the entirety of the small space smelled strongly of wet rags and—I took in a deeper whiff—was that _alcohol? _I briefly sniffed my shoulder, a bit disturbed that the alcoholic reek was coming from _me._

There was also a promising ray of light peeking out from under the door that I directed my focus to. I slowly pushed myself up onto my feet, joints cracking in random places wonderfully so as I did, grabbing the nearest shelf for a second to steady myself. I winced when a sudden sharp ache settled into my head and a searing headache hit me with full force. I felt like the lowest form of shit. What the hell was wrong with me?

I attempted to move forward only to stumble when my foot caught in the bucket. I tripped and fell sharply to my hands and knees. I hissed from both the pain and the loud clattering sound the stupid bucket made. Ugh. I didn't even want to attempt to get up again. I wanted to lie down, curl up into a ball, and die.

When the room stopped spinning and shifting, I pushed myself onto my feet again, kicking the goddamn bucket off to the side. Once I was somewhat balanced, I made my way over to the door that was almost beckoning me to come forward and escape. I grabbed the handle and it only jiggled slightly.

It was locked?

I rattled it furiously just to make sure, but it made no difference. It was locked from the outside.

My already-ill stomach knotted when I realized I was trapped here. I was about to start panicking, and the questions came in such a flurry that I couldn't even keep up with them in my own head.

Had I been kidnapped?

Had they drugged me?

Where had they taken me?

What did they want from me?

Was I some sort of hostage?

How long had I been passed out?

Minutes?

Hours?

_Days? _

God, did my mom know?

Was she worried?

How long was I going to be stuck here?

What if they kept me as a slave for years?

I shook the nauseating thoughts out of my head by force, and let go of the doorknob, backing away a few steps with my heart pounding in my hot ears.

Stay calm, Sauli. You're overreacting, surely.

I flinched and nearly screamed in terror when I suddenly heard the knob jiggle by itself and the light underneath the door was blocked off by a moving figure on the other side. I picked up the broom with trembling hands, ready to attack whoever was unlocking the door. I arranged myself into an idiotic defensive position and waited anxiously. The door swung open, filling the room with painful light. I squeezed my eyes shut from the burn of the brightness, and flailed the mop around blindly, making whooshing noises as it sliced through the air, obviously missing whoever was standing there.

"Whoa! Relax," I heard an alarmed and surprisingly familiar voice say.

My eyes whipped open and I struggled to adjust to the new light. The figure in front of me slowly came into focus as a heavenly glow lit him from behind, making him look like an angel's silhouette. I was frozen for a moment as my brain attempted to register that it was just Mr. Lambert ducked in the doorway with a shocked expression, holding his palms out in defence toward me.

After a long minute of my mind slowly catching up, I realized I was still holding the broom pointed at Mr. Lambert with a wildly panicked look in my aching eyes.

He tentatively asked, "…Can you drop the broom, please?"

I stared at him for another long moment, my eyes darting over his appearance just to make sure it was really him and I wasn't hallucinating because I was drugged. Mr. Lambert gazed back cautiously at me, making no sudden movements. Then, I tried to remember how to move, and finally did as he'd asked. My hands unclenched, but the rest of my body remained frozen. The broom clattered loudly against the tiles. That, combined with the brightness, made my headache spike exponentially and unfroze me. I groaned and dropped down to my knees, holding my head tightly and cringing in pain. I felt like throwing up all of my insides. Mr. Lambert immediately kneeled in front of me, and I flinched when I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay," his soothing voice filled my pounding ears, being the only sound that wasn't irritating me to death at the moment. "Give it a minute."

Easier said than done. My entire body, especially my head, felt like it was being brutally clobbered by a raging jackhammer.

"What's going on?" I groaned at the sound of my own voice and squeezed my eyes shut. "Did you kidnap me?"

That thought didn't bother me as much as it probably should have.

I could feel Mr. Lambert's hand tense on my shoulder before it relaxed again and he let out what sounded like a forced chuckle. "No," he replied calmly. "We're at school."

"Then what happened?" I winced every time a sound escaped my throat. Was my own voice always so screechy and obnoxious?

Mr. Lambert's voice was guarded, but upfront. "You came to school drunk."

My eyes flashed open and I stared at his disappointed expression in disbelief.

"_What?!" _I replied, voice jumping up an octave, ignoring the resulting stabbing pain in my forehead. "What do you mean? I did? Why? Who saw? Am I in trouble? Oh god, what did I do?" My tone was filled with misery and shame.

The short questions had spewed quickly in alarm, and all of this sudden stress just made my suicidal and shitty state become tenfold more exaggerated when another particularly sharp pain shot through my temples.

Mr. Lambert just watched me like a tired adult looking after a tantrum-throwing toddler. His dark fringes of hair blocked his eyes partially as he looked down at me, and I was somewhat grateful that I couldn't see exactly how upset he was with me.

I could practically see him trying to figure out how to word it as he slowly responded, "I mean you actually drove to school drunk early in the morning and then barged into my classroom." I gaped at him, eye twitching. I already knew he was leaving out details, and I didn't know if it was because they weren't important… or if he didn't want to tell me for some reason. "And I don't know why. I was hoping you could tell me."

My thoughts raced, trying to figure out when and where I got so wasted, and _why._ I wasn't a heavy drinker. Actually, the only times I'd ever drank before were at family gatherings that included some formal and limited wine drinking, nothing more. My memory was frayed since I hadn't fully recovered yet as I tried to piece together what had happened. I only remembered glimpses. I recalled being _really _emotional all night, mom's not-so-secret stash of whiskey, and frustration and confusion... about Mr. Lambert.

Oh _great._ Fantastic. All sarcasm intended.

"I can't remember," I mumbled incoherently, refusing to look him in the eye. "I'd normally never do such a thing… I'm not like that. I don't know why…" I trailed off.

Yes I did. It was all slowly returning and I could feel my skin pale at the horror of the memories flooding back.

I got shit-faced because I was an idiot and couldn't handle feeling some of the things I felt toward my own damn teacher. The pain of knowing it was the most pointless infatuation a person could muster up had become suddenly really unbearable at four in the morning after tossing about in my bed and crying. Alcohol happened to make you looser and masked whatever pain for a short bit, but it also made me decide to drive and confront Mr. Lambert as soon as possible with my drunken confidence. Apparently, I'd thought that was a really great idea. God, could I be more pathetic? What could I have said to him? I didn't remember anything that had happened after getting in my car.

Remembering all of this in front of the person that had caused it all to happen made me want to run out of the room screaming. Yeah, I'd rather be kidnapped and enslaved than tell him the truth. Lying to Mr. Lambert felt terrible, but I really didn't have another choice. I was about ready to beg him to just kill me and get it over with. How could I live with this mortification anyway? How could I be so goddamn _stupid?_

Mr. Lambert gave me a look that I avoided until he sighed, realizing that I wasn't going to give him any more than that, and continued answering my questions.

"And no, you're not in trouble with anyone else. You're lucky I was the only one around," he muttered. His voice dropped to a dangerously guarded tone as he said, "…And you don't want to know what you did…"

The hairs on my neck stood up from the clipped and seriously bothered tone of his voice.

"_What do you mean?"_ I squeaked way too loudly and then groaned from the obnoxious volume, gripping tighter onto the sides of my pounding head. My stomach knotted and I suddenly felt nauseous again, but more from sheer nerves and feelings of disgrace at what I had done at home and the endless possibilities that I could've done _here._

Mr. Lambert pursed his lip and gave me a worried look. "Wait here," he instructed, ignoring my question.

I stayed seated on the ground as he disappeared out the door. I didn't dare disobey him. Actually, being given commands was kind of awesome and it made my gut flutter, but it wasn't like I was even physically capable of just getting up and strolling out of here anyway. The ground was my best friend at this point. So much so in fact, that I considered just asking Mr. Lambert to close the door again and let me sleep for the rest of my life in here. After a few irritatingly long minutes, Mr. Lambert returned with a glass of water and a pill in his hand.

"Pretty sure I'm not allowed to give students pills, but hey, you already broke some rules, so why not?" Mr. Lambert muttered, barely audible as he sank to his knees and handed me the objects. I willingly took the pill and washed it down with the cold water without even giving it a second thought. "Look at you. You don't even care what I just gave you." He shook his head bitterly in disappointment.

"I trust you," I mumbled, squeezing the glass as I stared fixedly at it. "Aren't I supposed to?"

"Rule number one in life, kid," Mr. Lambert grumbled, "don't trust anyone. You're lucky that was just an aspirin. If it was anyone else…"

I could feel his eyes boring hard into my forehead. His voice was laced with something I couldn't quite put my finger on as he continued and strangely changed the subject a little, "You never know when someone who's supposed to look out for you crosses a line and goes too far. Mr. Koskinen, if anything like that were ever to happen, god forbid, you need to get as far away from that person as possible and make sure that they are punished, okay? _Even if they know it's wrong and hates themselves for it forever."_ He'd looked away and muttered that last part under his breath so quietly that I wasn't even sure if I heard him right.

He gazed back at me warningly, "But I'm sure you won't tempt anyone you're not supposed to. You're a smart kid." He got back on topic, "So just be careful, okay? Just because you think you can trust someone, doesn't mean you should take whatever they give you, especially pills, without even asking a single question." He gave me a forced encouraging smile. It didn't even touch his beautiful eyes.

I glared at the condensation on the glass. I'd pretty much tuned out in annoyance after he'd said two particular things.

Kid. Mr. Koskinen.

I _hated_ being called those two things by _him._ Were they seriously all he saw me as? Not only did he seem to think of me as an underage baby, but he also only referred to me with cold formality, creating that barrier between us.

"I _know_ allthat, thank you very much," I muttered with irritation, setting down the glass to look up tentatively at his handsome, but tired, face. Why the hell had he been rambling on randomly about that crap anyway? "I thought I wasn't in trouble, so why the lecture?"

"I said you're not in trouble with anyone else," Mr. Lambert scolded, dismissing the last part of my question. "You're in trouble with _me._"

I looked up at him with fear and apology. "Why? What do I do—" I started, but was cut off.

"—Can you stand yet?" he asked quickly, probably purposefully. "I'm sick of kneeling in here. Plus, it smells." He wiggled his nose, scowling exaggeratedly at the shelves.

I just nodded, and he followed me up, hovering concernedly as I confidently pushed myself up onto my feet for only a second before a wave of dizziness washed over me and I stumbled over my own two feet, falling back onto my ass with a grunt before he could catch me.

I could practically hear Mr. Lambert trying to stifle a chuckle.

"You okay?" he asked with a smile in his voice.

I narrowed my eyes into daggers up at him, giving him one jerky nod, but all annoyance with him immediately fizzled when Mr. Lambert offered out his hand to me. I stared at it, not exactly sure what I was supposed to do with it, and whether or not I should even allow him to help me up after laughing at me.

I sighed after a moment, resigned, decidedly against embarrassing myself further, and tentatively reached out for his hand. My cheeks burned when his soft fingers wrapped around and tightened on my hand. His enclosing warmth sent little sparks up my arm and straight into every other nerve in my body. I was hyperaware that I was actually holding _his _hand right now… and it felt depressingly right. I kept his oceanic gaze as he heaved me up to near eye level. My grip on his hand didn't loosen even when I was sure I had my footing, still not breaking the intoxicating eye contact.

The atmosphere felt thick to me and it was becoming harder to breath, but after a very heavy moment that made no sense to me, Mr. Lambert cleared his throat and broke me out of that strange daze.

"Can I have my hand back?" he asked, humor and something else lacing his quiet voice.

I finally blinked and noticed that I had a death grip on his hand long after being helped up. Mortified, I immediately let go and muttered out an apology.

He gestured to the door with a small smile and I followed him carefully. We were barely out of the closet, no pun intended, before I interrogated to his back, "You going to tell me what I did that was so wrong?"

Still groggy and aching, I stopped to lean against the whiteboard in order to keep from falling over in the spinning room as Mr. Lambert froze several feet away and slowly turned around to face me. He opened his mouth to answer, but then his words hitched in his throat as he took in my pose. His eyes flashed with something almost fearful, like he was suddenly remembering something horrendous, but then he quickly recovered, smoothing out his expression and setting his jaw.

He didn't directly look at me as he reluctantly and stiffly answered, "Just… some inappropriate misconduct and violation of school board rules. Don't worry about it now. It's _not _going to happen again. I won't allow it." His voice was stone-cold firm as he walked over to his desk and perched on the end, gripping the edges with his hands.

"What _inappropriate?" _I insisted, crossing my arms to hide my nerves. He seemed really thrown off by whatever it was that I'd done… and it was making me uncomfortably antsy.

"Just forget about it," Mr. Lambert sighed, waving his hand dismissively like it was no big deal in the slightest.

"But—"

"—This conversation is over and that's _final," _he snapped.

My next words were crushed before they'd even left my throat. I was taken aback by the authoritative tone in his voice. My slightly agape lips had nothing but silence spill out between them. I clamped my mouth shut and just stared at Mr. Lambert's tense figure, not knowing what to say or do, intimidated by him like never before. He wasn't even looking at me. In fact, this entire time, he'd been looking everywhere except at me as much as possible.

What did I _do _to him? I couldn't imagine what I could've possibly done that bothered him so greatly. I wish I knew so I could just apologize profusely for whatever mistakes I'd made, but it was clear that I wasn't going to get anything more out of him about the matter.

The awkward silence that followed his distinguished outburst was deafening and lasted longer than it should have. Oddly, it was making my headache that much more pronounced. I kept opening and then closing my mouth, too afraid to say the wrong thing again. Mr. Lambert just stared blankly at his shoes, and the only way to tell how tense he was, was through his tight grip on the edge of his desk. His eyes were mostly covered by wisps of dark hair. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't even know what it would be for.

"What time is it?" I blurted out, just to get him to talk again.

Mr. Lambert sighed tiredly and angled his head toward the clock behind me. "School's been over for two hours now."

I whipped my head to look back at the clock for affirmation and my jaw dropped slightly in bafflement. I turned back toward him with accusing eyes. "You had me passed out and stuffed in a closet all day?"

Mr. Lambert winced. "Don't say that. It already sounds horrible enough. I don't need to be reminded. And at least you stayed quiet and immediately wiped out after I put you in there." His eyes flickered between me and the closet just behind me. "I'd been so afraid and distracted by the likeliness of you getting up during a lecture and banging on the door. We could've kissed both of our lives goodbye if that'd happened."

"But, why a closet?"

Mr. Lambert's blue eyes finally reached and stared into mine. His irises had a sense of hopelessness in them as far as I could tell.

"I couldn't let you get caught and ruin everything you've worked for here," he admitted. My lip twitched. "I broke a few rules to save your ass, so you're welcome."

"…You couldn't have just called a cab to take me home?" I snickered.

Mr. Lambert looked surprised for a split second before he cursed under his breath, shaking his head in disappointment at himself. He mashed his fist with a small thump on the wooden surface of his desk, before he started to pace back and forth, grumbling angrily and incomprehensively to himself. I was only able to catch two non-fragmented mumbles in the middle of his ultimatum to himself: "…_why didn't I think of that?"_ and _"…kid's going to get me fired…"_

I watched him beat himself up verbally for a few seconds before I started to pity him.

I cut him off mid-grumble with, "but _thank you _anyway." He paused and glanced up at me with annoyance, so I offered him a small smile. "I appreciate you going through all that trouble."

That made his eyes soften and the corner of his lip twitch. My cheeks started blazing when he kept staring peculiarly at me longer than strictly necessary, but those irises were filled with such kindness, nothing more, like he was smiling fondly at me through them.

"Crap," I blurted randomly after his gaze felt too intense, purposefully breaking the eye-contact and the momentary silence, realizing something. I gazed back at the clock with fear. "Mom's going to kill me. I'm so late and she has no idea where I am." I bit my lip, already imagining the magnitude of her wrath. "I have to go home, but ugh…" I rubbed circles into the sides of my head, wincing from the hangover consequences.

"Don't even think about thinking about it. I'm not letting you drive home," Mr. Lambert insisted, stepping closer to me. "You're nowhere near the condition to. You're still my responsibility here. I'll be the one to blame if you get yourself and several others killed."

I scoffed at his parental nonsense. "Then how else am I supposed to get home?" I asked cynically.

"A cab," he muttered sarcastically, eyes flashing with hatred for himself for having missed that earlier.

I fought back a grin, a bit pathetically content that I had something over him and had thought of something he didn't, since usually I felt insignificant and incredibly stupid when around him. I must still have some alcohol left in me because otherwise I'd probably be terrified to be in the same room, stuttering and mousy, especially now that I was alone with him.

"No money."

"I'll pay," he countered.

My eyebrows jumped up. "Um, no you won't? Not when I'm sober and can stop you. That's so not necessary."

I always hated the idea of people paying for me. It was embarrassing and it made me feel inferior in some ways. I always came from the belief that if I couldn't afford something, then I couldn't have it. Mooching money off someone was a last resort. If I'd been drunk and couldn't stop Mr. Lambert from paying to get me home safely, then that was understandable, but right now, I was fine, I had my own car, and allowing him, especially since he was a teacher, to pay for me was just silly, and avoidable.

"Can you take a bus?" he asked desperately, running his hand stressfully through his hair.

I rolled my eyes and pulled out the insides of my jean pockets to reinforce my statement. "No money," I repeated with a sigh. Mr. Lambert started to suggest something, but I cut him off with, "and no bus pass either." He shut his mouth and huffed through his lips.

"Call a friend?" he suggested hopefully after a few seconds.

"Yeah, no, don't have any," I muttered, hating to have that brought up.

Thankfully, Mr. Lambert didn't dwell on the friend thing. His brow furrowed for the slightest second before he noticed the disheartened darkness on my face that practically screamed _don't ask_ and continued.

"Walk?"

I gave him a look. He obviously didn't know how far away I lived.

"Screw it, I'm driving. Thanks again." I turned on my heel to walk out and gave him a half-hearted wave.

"No!"

I paused mid-step and peered over my shoulder. Mr. Lambert had frozen in place with his hand reached out partly toward me. He dropped his arm when he got my attention. His eyes flickered over my questioning face, like he wasn't really sure why he stopped me, or he hadn't been expecting me to actually listen to him. But I did, and now he wasn't saying anything. Finally, he sighed loudly in exasperation and dropped his eyes, clearly not in favor of what he was about to say next.

"I can drive you," he muttered at the floor, seemingly hating himself for even coming up with such an idea.

I glared at his inky silk-like hair. "No thanks. To be honest, you don't exactly seem to be jumping through hoops at that offer," I mumbled, putting him on the spot. The reality in my words depressed me more than it should have. Did spending more time than required with me put him off that much? I sighed sadly. "You probably have better things to do." I stared dejectedly at his shoes, feeling my eyes sting slightly. "I don't want to be a burden."

"Aw, come on. You're not…" Mr. Lambert insisted in a higher tone, coming up to me and placing his strong hand on my shoulder. I glared at his shoes. "Sauli, _look_ at me." I rolled my eyes and did as he asked. He gazed down at me seriously. "I apologize. I'm being childish. It's just…" he trailed off, letting his hand fall off my shoulder. "Never mind."

He proceeded to walk over to his desk and pick up his messenger bag before turning back to me and plastering a big smile on his face. His mood did a one-eighty just for my sake. "Come on, I'll take you home. No ands, ifs, or buts."

"What about my car?" I asked as Mr. Lambert passed me. He barely paused as he walked out the door, calling out over his shoulder with a chuckle, "Now that's not my problem."

In the parking lot, I trailed slowly behind a frantic Mr. Lambert who was whipping his head back and forth to the sides quickly and craning his neck over various cars. I didn't know what the heck he was doing, whether he was anxious about or looking for something or someone.

We passed variously mundane SUVs, sedans, and whatever else, but I was confused when he suddenly stopped next to an impressive-looking Mustang. My eyebrows shot up in surprise when the car locks responded to his keys. _This _was his ride?

Mr. Lambert paused by the passenger door with a sweet twitch of his lips, opening it for me like a gentleman despite being seemingly in a hurry. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face and the flustered tingles in my stomach as I quietly thanked him and climbed into his car. I took a deep breath when he shut the door and quickly made his way over to his side, plopping in, and turning on the engine without a word. It rumbled to life and vibrated soothingly, making me instantly exhausted like being rocked to sleep as an infant. I'd been so distracted by him that I'd forgotten how shit-faced and drained I really was.

"If someone saw that I had you in my car…" Mr. Lambert muttered grumpily next to me, mostly to himself.

So that's what he was so worried about? Getting caught leaving the school with me was the problem? I pursed my lips. For a minute, I didn't really understand what the issue was with my post-drunken self until I forced my rusted gears to think and it dawned on me. A teacher leaving the school with a student would give anybody the wrong idea, and rightfully so.

Even though he was in a rush to get me home without being seen, Mr. Lambert still drove with the utmost caution. And strangely enough, once we were off the school perimeters, he visibly relaxed and slowed down. His back wasn't tense anymore and his eyes lost the glinting worried look in them. Instead, the color returned to his face and a small _genuine _smile graced his lips. I couldn't help but keep peering over at it, taking peeks of his gorgeous self. I gave him my address when he asked for it and he smirked a little, saying that I lived pretty close by him, which threw me for a loop, although he didn't tell me exactly where.

"…so yeah, we actually ended up having to leave the vacation early," I concluded my long story about my trip to Hawaii a couple years back.

We'd been on the road for a while now. It should have been awkward to be in my teacher's car, but it wasn't in the slightest. I was talking freely and confidently above my exhaustion... probably because I was still slightly tipsy. My hangover was forgotten as the sound of Mr. Lambert's voice and mine filled the small interior of the car without a break. And plus, I just didn't want to miss a moment of being alone with him like this. _This_ was perfect.

"Seriously? Man, that sucks," Mr. Lambert replied, laughing a little as he kept his relaxed gaze on the road ahead, sounding a hell of a lot less like a teacher and more like a friend; a real person. It was like he had an off switch. There was no intimidatingly superior presence about him. He made me feel comfortable. Again, that could be because of all my drinking, but I liked to believe it was partly him as well. I tried to avoid all school-related topics, not even bringing up the question of what I'd done when I'd been wasted with him again. It was just too much fun talking to him about regular things. We flowed that way, and conversation came easily when there was nothing to worry about. "So was this before or after the volcano?"

"After," I stated, holding up a finger. "And, a week before the volcano mess, they gave us a fucker of a surfing instructor that was bat-shit insane," I exclaimed, loving how Mr. Lambert just chuckled and grinned instead of scolding me for swearing. "It was like a million degrees, but nope, he insisted that we go out anyway. Needless to say, the sand cooked my feet alive. My skin was peeling and aching for days. He didn't even mention that the waters were shark infested." I shook my head fondly, reliving the memory. "What about you? Any crazy experiences?"

"Hah!" Mr. Lambert snorted and smacked the wheel. "Where to start?" He smirked over at me. "Just last summer, I took a trip to Burning Man…"

Our conversation continued like that for what seemed like an endlessly blissful time. Listening to Mr. Lambert talk about his psychedelic experiences in the desert and other eccentric moments in his life made me realize that he was really a _person,_ you know? You never really expect your teachers to have a life outside of school, but he sure did. He was a lot wilder than I'd ever dreamed, despite being so business-like at school, and it was thrilling for me to know that he wasn't another robotic educator.

As he talked animatedly, I just stared over at him in wonder and awe, finding myself falling for him with every passing sentence. The more he talked, the more human he felt, and so the more connected I felt to him. I didn't think he even noticed the change in himself. He chatted without a worry and no boundaries, saying whatever came to his mind. In this moment, he wasn't Mr. Lambert; he was the closest thing I've ever had to a _friend._ I could listen to him for the rest of my life… except apparently, my body had other time limits in mind. Despite my best attempts to ignore it, my body caught up with my mind. The dizziness and exhaustion started to become unbearable just as Mr. Lambert finished his side of the stories.

"…still can't get all the damn glitter out," he concluded, frowning out the windshield.

That was all the longest I'd ever heard him speak, and every single word just made me plummet even more head over heels for him. It really wasn't fair. I was so attracted to him for whatever cursed reason, but he never even seemed to bat an eye at me. He only saw me as his immature student and nothing more. I mean, that's why I was in his car right now. He didn't even trust me to drive myself. How I wished the circumstances we'd met under had been different. Would he have noticed me in the same way I did him?

After a long moment, I slurred contently, "You know… I like you," without a second thought, sight starting to blur as I gazed out the window.

Mr. Lambert paused for a moment before I heard him reply cautiously, "I like you too, of course. You work so hard, so you make my job easier."

I shook my head groggily, slightly annoyed that he was back to his professional bullshit. "No, I mean I think I _really _like you," I mumbled, turning my head in time to see Mr. Lambert's hands tighten on the wheel, stretching his knuckles to white.

"And I think you're still a bit drunk," he muttered, forcing a small chuckle.

"I'm fine," I said incoherently, waving my hand dismissively, though he I knew all too well how right he was. I assumed I was the honest type of drunken person. You know… the ones who blurt out truths regardless of what harm they'd do? I'd wear my heart out on my sleeve. You can imagine that because of that fact, why it terrified me to think about what I might've said or done when I was _really_ wasted with him.

"No, you're really not," Mr. Lambert replied, voice getting stiffer. "You wouldn't be saying this crap if you were okay."

I frowned, blinking with heavy eyes. "It's crap?" My voice sounded disappointed and far away. My body felt heavy with the urge to sleep and get rid of the rest of the toxins.

"Of course it is," he scoffed curtly, like he was surprised I even questioned it. "I'm your teacher. I'm here to set you on the right path. And I know it's just the alcohol talking that's saying such absurd things. It's wrong."

I rolled my eyes in a fading daze, too tired to even take offense. I just kept spewing more things I would never think of saying if fully sober.

"Says who?" I yawned loudly. "I think you like me."

"Go to sleep. We're halfway there. You're fighting to keep your eyes open," he muttered, peering at me from the corner of his eyes.

My eyes were closed now and my head lolled to the opposite side. "…You're not denying it," I said with a sleepy smile I knew he couldn't see.

"_Sleep,"_ Mr. Lambert repeated more firmly.

I dozed off with a small chuckle.

I was woken up slowly some time later by muted voices nearby. I blinked my eyes open, regaining consciousness. My head felt immensely better than before and the foggy hangover discomfort was waning. My neck ached from leaning on the window. I immediately longed for the soothing vibration of the car, noticing that it was gone. Did we stop?

I sniffed the air experimentally. What was that richly intoxicating smell? I smelled the air again, finding that the scent was the strongest on my own skin. What the hell? Did Mr. Lambert spray me with cologne?

I craned my head enough to look outside, surprised to see my mother standing with Mr. Lambert outside the driver's door.

"I can't, really," I heard his muffled voice say.

"Don't be silly, I insist," my mother replied in her usual pushy and excited tone.

My brow furrowed, confused. What was going on? Oh god, my teacher was talking to my mother. Did he tell her about what I'd done? Shit.

I scrambled to open the door and hop out of the car, ignoring the light-headed feeling from getting up so fast. Both of their heads whipped over to my direction from the other side of the car. My mom gave me a proud look, not furious. Mr. Lambert had a small smile playing on his lips.

"Hi, sleepy-head," mom cooed, jade eyes sparkling.

Ignoring the baby talk, I asked, "What's going on?" as I made my way around the car, trying not to stumble or look drunkenly suspicious.

"Well, this lovely teacher of yours told me about how you two stayed late after school to study," she explained. "And he even drove you home when your car broke down?" She turned to beam at him. "That's so nice of you. That awful car is due to die any day now. Lucky you were with Sauli."

I kept my face blank and glanced at Mr. Lambert. There was a twinkle in his eyes as he stared intently at me. His eyebrow twitched ever so slightly and that's when I figured it out. He was saving my ass from the wrath of my mother. The cologne thing suddenly made sense. He was masking the smell of alcohol on me. My heart swelled. He was so not helping my fawning over him.

"Um, y-yeah," I stuttered, peeling my eyes from Mr. Lambert to my mom. "I needed some extra help and he was kind enough to give me his own time."

Mom's smile grew wider. "And that's exactly why I invited him to dinner."

My eyes widened.

Mr. Lambert turned to my mom, a little exasperated. "I really shouldn't," he pleaded. I didn't miss the way his eyes flickered over to me.

Mom didn't even look at him. "Nonsense." She waved her hand dismissively. "I'm not taking no for an answer."

Surely enough, an hour later, we were all sitting around my dining room table. I didn't really know how to feel about Mr. Lambert in my house… at my dinner table… across from me… eating my food. I could barely look at him the entire time without my cheeks flaring up. I was having dinner with my teacher. I couldn't even wrap my head around that fully. What the actual fuck was this day?

I was grateful for my mom to keep chatting him up, charmed by his company like any human being would be. It was more awkward with her here, and I could tell both of us were cautious to make sure our answers fit and wouldn't raise suspicion. Mr. Lambert never faltered in his responses and replied just as quirkily as she did. I was almost jealous of her for having it so easy and natural when it came to talking to him. I did feel guilty that she was putting all this trust in us and we were flat-out deceiving her right in her face.

I didn't understand why Mr. Lambert was willing to lie to my mother for me without even being begged to. As a teacher who was so focused on rules, he hadn't been doing a good job of that today. Any other teacher would rat to the parents as soon as they spotted a drunken student. I mean, I was entirely relieved and appreciative for his actions, but I was still confused. He was acting more like a good friend and designated driver or something instead of an authority figure with a higher title with the right to keep his ass on supervisor's good list by any means necessary.

My head snapped up when I heard my name in conversation.

"...and Sauli over here worked so hard that he completely exhausted himself and fell asleep on the way here," Mr. Lambert said smoothly, pointing his fork toward me casually.

My eyes flickered over his for a small second before they diverted to my plate, and I blushed madly as I aimlessly played with my food with my own fork.

"My little boy always works himself to the bone," mom bragged, waving her spoon around.

"_Mom,_" I whined, embarrassed. Did everyone have to refer to me as everything less than a man?

"He does," Mr. Lambert agreed approvingly. He turned his head toward me again and made sure he locked my eye contact in place this time as he intently said, "And if he's careful about the decisions he makes in life, like I trust he does, I'm sure he'll go far."

I looked down again, ashamed. He was obviously referring to my incredible idiotic drinking. I knew how badly I'd almost screwed myself over. If anyone other than Mr. Lambert had caught me, everything I'd ever worked for would've been gone before I could've even slurred out an apology. I owed him so much for this. He went against his own code of conduct because he genuinely cared about me and my future more than his job. I really needed to thank him.

After dinner and after mom said her cheerful goodbyes before washing the dishes, I was the one to walk Mr. Lambert to the door.

"I really like your mom," he teased as we paused by the door.

"Everyone does," I muttered, envying how social and admirable she was.

"You can probably get a ride from her tomorrow," Mr. Lambert said, a smile in his voice. He craned his neck to check down the hall for my mom before continuing in a more hushed tone, "Please try to show up sober."

I smiled sadly at him, face full of apology. "I will," I promised, and then shook my head in awe at him. "Thank you so, _so_ much for _everything._ I know it couldn't have been easy."

"It's been a long day, I'll admit," he shrugged. He did look really worn out.

"Why did you bother though?" I pondered. "You could've just called my mom to come and get me and let her and the school board know the truth and be done with it, but you practically had me in hiding."

Mr. Lambert sighed, rubbing his eyes. He was exhausted and it was really starting to show. His perky concealment during dinner and animated chatter was completely drained from him. I felt awful for doing this to him. It was entirely my fault for getting wasted and putting so much unnecessary responsibility and stress on the poor guy.

"I don't know…" he admitted, "but I don't regret helping you out. I'm disappointed with your initial decision." My stomach twisted. Having someone, especially Mr. Lambert, be disappointed in you rather than angry was one of the worst feelings a person could have. He obviously noticed my frown and mirrored my expression. "But, it's okay now," he said quickly, trying not to hurt my feelings further. "What's done is done. Moving on."

"So what's my punishment for making you go through all this?" I asked tentatively.

He sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. "Let's just forget today ever happened, okay?" he pleaded.

I couldn't find it in me to agree to that and nod. As unfortunate as the circumstances had been, I thoroughly enjoyed spending that time in the car with Mr. Lambert. It'd been the happiest I'd felt in a _long _time. He couldn't seriously ask me to forget something like that and blow it off as nothing. It upset me that he was so eager to wipe the entire thing out of his memory. Guess the day with me really meant nothing to him while it meant everything to me. I could feel a lump form in my throat.

I just blinked up at him, hoping he'd take that as some sort of confirmation to his offer. He did and then offered me a thankful and tired smile. I could feel my heart start to crack.

"I'm sorry," I barely managed to squeak out.

"I know," he assured me quietly. I held his gaze for a minute, both of us hovering by the door. I could feel the tension and awkwardness settling in. What was the proper way to bid farewell to a teacher leaving your house? A handshake? A hug? I had no idea, and clearly he didn't either. I kept my feet glued to the ground, refusing the urge to push up onto my toes and do something I'd regret. My cheeks were on fire and I tore my eyes away from his, staring fixedly at his chest instead. "I'll see you tomorrow," he finished unsurely, cutting the silence as he opened the door.

"Bye," I mumbled almost inaudibly at the floor.

And with that pathetic ending, Mr. Lambert breezed out of my house without another word, quietly shutting the door. I let out a huge sigh of disappointment and depression. I was a mess. What was I thinking? It could never _actually_ happen. So many things could and _would_ go wrong. Plus, Mr. Lambert barely seemed to see me as anything other than his annoyingly needy student that was weak and stupid enough to go intoxicate himself and then drive. Let's not forget that I wasn't even supposed to call him by his first name; that's how far down I was on the ladder. I was nothing more than an aspect of his _job, _and that reality was a painful thorn in my head that I couldn't ignore.


End file.
